Drugs report: NCAA golfers burn more weed than Willie Nelson!

Here is a link to a pretty fascinating article titled “PGA Golf Tour Snubs U.S. Tests as Marijuana Surfaces in Europe.”

The report states “marijuana, cocaine and ecstasy have turned up in French and Italian tests of amateur and pro golfers.”

The stats that follow seem dire. But a closer read reveals that 12 of 100 French golfers tested over a four-year period had positive results for banned substances (including marijuana, cocaine and ecstasy). A whopping SIX of the 350 Italians tested over a five-year period tested positive for banned drugs (and three of those were for marijuana).

But get this: “There are signs that young American golfers are using illegal drugs as well.” Gasp!

From the article: “The 2005 National Collegiate Athletic Association survey of a sampling of golfers indicated steroid use by 1.3 percent, amphetamine use by 3.5 percent, cocaine or crack use by 2.7 percent and marijuana use by 25 percent, according to the NCAA.”

As I read that, one QUARTER of U.S. college golfers tested smoke grass! I’ve been to reggae concerts with fewer people burning. Hell, 25 percent of Willie Nelson doesn’t smoke that much!

BTW, the best quote in the entire story comes from Charles Yesalis, an anabolic steroids expert and professor of health policy at Pennsylvania State University in State College. He’s talking about how Tim Finchem and the PGA Tour have a see-no-evil policy on steroids in golf.

“These excuses are so lame, it’s like reading something out of a Monty Python script,” Yesalsi is quoted as saying. “‘We don’t have a problem because there is no proof, and we aren’t going to test to get the proof.’ This whole notion that there is something about carrying a bag of clubs that places you in a high ethical and moral plane is naive.”

Sounds like Mr. Professor Man is pretty uptight. Someone spark the dude up. Wait, that stuff’s illegal. Better yet, get him a cold Amstel Light instead. Or maybe a Michelob or Michelob Ultra. If he still can’t relax, try a stiff glass of Johnnie Walker.