No more celebrity golfers

First off, to appease my fellow blogger, this will not be about a certain lefty, who, as Baldwin’s first poster stated, is not actually left-handed, but learned to play golf that way mirroring his dad’s swing.

In fact, the only connection this has with Lefty lies in the fact that it is a mere annoyance involving the tournament he just won. Watching the coverage of both January’s Bob Hope Chrysler Classic and last weekend’s Pebble Beach Pro/Am, I truly realized how much I don’t care about how well celebrities can play golf. I just don’t care.

And the coverage was nauseating. I like to watch Samuel L. Jackson act. George Lopez’ standup is hilarious. Bill Murray: This guy is one of the most brilliant comedians of our generation. But I don’t care to watch them play golf. I could go to my neighborhood muni and watch middle-aged guys hack it around if I wanted to (although, admittedly, Bill Murray is actually a decent golfer with one of the most un-awkward swings of the celebrity troop, but he’s still a low-level amatuer). I don’t need it brought to my living room for me.

I do understand the draw. This brings in non-golf fans. It popularizes the PGA Tour right from the start of the season. OK. I am all for growing the game we all love. But if this is the case, we still don’t need to have the wealth of coverage of these guys actually playing golf. If one of these guys is playing to the crowd especially well, then cut to him. Watch him interact and entertain the gallery. But we don’t need to see him actually hit the ball. As I’ve said, if this is truly for the non-golf fans, then they don’t care how these guys play anyway.

And these celebrities need to realize their role. George Lopez gets it. He jokes with and plays to the crowd. He is there to entertain. It’s his stage. If he happens to play a round of golf in the process, great. But that’s secondary. However, not everyone gets it. Far too many of these celebrities walk into the ropes with a reclusive seriousness. They don’t want to be bothered. They just want to play and play well, which I understand–if it’s at their local country club on a Tuesday afternoon. But it’s not. It’s at Pebble Beach, or whatever Bob Hope course they happen to be at, and it’s on national television. Their role is to entertain the unwashed masses, not to impress them with a nine handicap.

I’ve had enough. I turn on the television to watch the best golfers in the world, not some overweight multi-quadjillionaire blade his fifth out of the sand over the green, prompting a temper tantrum because this was his “stroke hole.” It’s got to stop.