Friends, the Rebel finally found out who writes all those Forum letters at Penthouse:

Tim Coolican, owner/director of golf at Magnolia Plantation Golf Club in Lake Mary, Fla.

You see, when he’s not finding new ways to circumvent restraining orders, the Rebel spends a lot of time at HQ sorting the mail and trying to look busy until my afternoon tee time, or Happy Hour, whichever comes first.

So this morning, the Rebel comes across an interesting “reader review” in the in-box.

Ostensibly sent in from a “Casey Colepean,” it’s an over-the-top, glowing homage to Magnolia Plantation Golf Club in Lake Mary, Fla. “Casey Colepean’s” letter tells how the golf course recently re-opened after being closed for two years. “… it is now AWESOME!! They softened it up just a little bit and it is in great shape. New tif-eagle greens, fairways, bunkers, ect…. They must have spent millions. … It is a course that must be played.”

Starting to smell a rat, the Rebel gave this one a close look, as is custom. The e-mail address that “Casey Colepean” listed had the name “tim” in it, and the letters “pga,” as well. Hmmmm.

Further intrigued, the Reb opens the web site that this “Colepean” fellow listed for Magnolia Plantation and came across this page. The name of the owner/director of golf sure caught the old Reb’s eye: Timothy J. Coolican. And his bio says he’s a PGA member!

“Tim?” “PGA?”

Smelling a rat, one of our guys dials the phone number that “Casey Colepean” provided with the review. “Casey” wasn’t around. Gasp! In fact no one answered, it clicked over to voice mail and there was just a two-word message:

“Tim Coolican”

When I heard about that, I damn near choked on my cigar laughing!

No one ever accused golf pros of putting rocket scientists on the dole, but this one took the cake! Looks like Coolican went undercover as a TravelGolf.com reader to post a bogus review of his own golf course, and used his own e-mail and phone number, to boot. Guy’s name ought to be Mulligan, not Coolican.

From here on out, any time we spy a bogus letter, we’re calling it a “Coolican.” In fact, at the end of the year, maybe we’ll select the most obvious Coolican and award a prize. Not sure what yet, but the Rebel is suggesting a sack full of the Cheap Bastard’s sweat-stained tighty golf shorts.

Now, if any of you actual golfers want to submit a real course review, click here. (But be warned, we can smell a Coolican a mile away.)