Who is this Cheap Bastard?
I’ve had enough. Seven blogs in three days, none of them more than a paragraph long. He has faster fingers than RonMon. Wandering the beaches my ass. More like wandering the web. Who is this Cheap Bastard? He’s not Fat Bastard, that’s for sure. He looks like that Osbourne kid. Give us something of substance, you cheap, dashing bastard! Don’t tell us that Costa Rica has beautiful girls and great coffee. We know that. Tell us about the burgeoning golf industry there, about how the American dads won’t do eco tourism, but they will do golf (and leave the eco tourism to the wife and kids.) Grande Pines gives you a great rate if you join the Marriott Vacation Club? They’d better. Time shares are a great investment, but not just to shave a few bucks off your greens fees.
Oh, I’m on to you, you cheap, Nova-driving, beach-wandering, dashing, internet-comping, size 32-wearing bastard! I’m calling you out. Give us something more than tips. Give us style, substance, something profound in golf travel. I need some water. Somebody, please, anybody??
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But really Ron, I give you an amazing deal to Costa Rica (five nights, six days in a luxury hotel plus three rounds of golf), and you're upset that I forgot to mention that U.S. golfers probably won't care about the monkeys?
Or how about a full day of golf for $29.95. You even get a free lunch out of the deal. I know the concept of lunch is mysterious to you, Mon-ster, but I think it's something you should try. At very least it'll get Bob Geldof to stop trying to promote a concert for you.
-- Cheap Bastard
You want cheap golf, go to the Cheap Bastard. Yeah he looks like a Type B serial killer, but who cares? This guy's got the goods.
30 bucks for golf AND lunch? At a REAL course? Find me a better deal, Mon.
"Mon," what are you, from Jamaica?
Now Tim, I have deepfelt pains in my generous, loving heart that you would compare me to a serial killer. Unfortunately, the court does not allow me to speak of this any further.
Now Ron, don't you worry your pretty, little, miniscule, Nano-technological head over where my money comes from. I've been "trusted" with a little cash is all I have to say. Hint hint. Nudge nudge.
And also, my dear, syllably challenged friend, don't fret about Budget Golfer. El Bastardo has some amazing things still up his oversized sleeves.
-- Cheap Bastard
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