12:05 p.m. – Justin Leonard, United States, vs. Tim Clark,
LEONARD STARTS HITTING BALL SIDEWAYS WHILE CLARK PUTS ON USUAL PUTTING DISPLAY. WORLD MOVES ONE POINT AHEAD.
12:15 p.m. – David Toms, United States, vs. Trevor Immelman,
ALTHOUGH IMMELMAN REPEATS AUGUSTA FOUR-FEET VERTICAL WITH HOLE IN ONE, TOMS OVERCOMES FEARS OF CARDIAC COLLAPSE TO WIN ON 18TH GREEN. BACK TO EVEN.
12:25 p.m. – Tiger Woods, United States, vs. Retief Goosen,
WHEN JASON GORE APPEARS ON WOODS’ BAG, THE MEMORY IS TOO MUCH FOR THE AFRIKAANER, WHO FIRES A FRONT-NINE 81 ON WAY TO HUMILIATING 10 & 8 DEFEAT. USA UP BY ONE.
12:35 p.m. – Kenny Perry, United States, vs. Mark Hensby,
PERRY AVERAGES 295 OFF TEE, HENSBY, 305. PERRY FINALLY REVEALS PUTTING TOUCH AND SALVAGES A HALF. USA UP BY 1.
12:45 p.m. – Fred Couples, United States, vs. Vijay Singh,
BOOM BOOM NO MATCH FOR THE OUIJI FROM FIJI AS THE SOUL PATCH BRINGS WORLD BACK TO SQUARE.
12:55 p.m. – Scott Verplank, United States, vs. Mike Weir,
OH, CANADA! WEIR CONQUERS VERPLANK IN SELF-PROCLAIMED “SIXTH MAJOR” AS WORLD MOVES WITHIN STRIKING DISTANCE OF VICTORY.
1:05 p.m. – Jim Furyk, United States, vs. Adam Scott,
THE UGLIEST SWING IN PRO GOLF DEFEATS PRETTY BOY SCOTT AS MATCH ONCE AGAIN FINDS ITSELF EVEN.
1:15 p.m. – Stewart Cink, United States, vs. Peter Lonard,
AFTER SECURITY GUARDS BEGRUDGINGLY ALLOW CINK AND LONARD TO ACTUALLY COMPETE ["WE HAD NO IDEA WHO THEY WERE. WE THOUGHT THEY WERE GATE CRASHERS."] THE TWO STAGE A FORGETTABLE DUEL WHERE NO SCORE IS ACTUALLY KEPT. PLAYER AND NICKLAUS CALL FINCHEM, BUT HAVE TO LEAVE A VOICE MAIL.
1:25 p.m. – Fred Funk, United States, vs. Michael Campbell,
FUNK HITS EVERY FAIRWAY, CAMPBELL HITS NONE. FUNK WINS. USA UP BY ONE.
1:35 p.m. – Davis Love III, United States, vs. Nick O’Hern,
DLIII MOMENTARILY BLINDSIDED BY FACT THAT WORLD TEAM HAS TWO LEFTIES, AND O’HERN RIDES THIS MOMENTUM TO AN UNEXPECTED TIE.
1:45 p.m. – Phil Mickelson, United States, vs. Angel Cabrera,
MICKELSON TRIES IN VAIN TO HIT BALL AS FAR AS EL GAUCHO, FINDING PREVIOUSLY-UNDISCOVERED TERRAIN AT RTJGC. EL GAUCHO ROMPS TO 5 AND 4 VICTORY. GUESS WHAT? WE’RE STILL TIED.
1:55 p.m. – Chris DiMarco, United States, vs. Stuart Appleby,
THANK GOD FOR THE CLAW. DIMARCO SAVES THE NETWORK FROM ANOTHER TIE WHEN HE DEFEATS APPLEBY SOMEWHERE ON THE BACK NINE. PLAYER ATTEMPTS TO GOAD NICKLAUS INTO PUSH-UP CONTEST, BUT GOLDEN BEAR DECLINES. PLAYER THEN PULLS A SHOOTER McGAVIN AND BOLTS WITH CUP. HE IS EVENTUALLY TACKLED BY AN UGLY GIANT WITH STEEL TEETH.

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