On a day when no one approached his first-round 66, Lonnie Nielsen showed that he might be poised to step up a level on the Champions Tour. After an opening-round 66, the question mark was preceded by the thought: can he hold up? After three consecutive bogeys on holes 3-5, two letters seemed the imminent answer. It was then that the calm of the Iowan and the warrior within reached deeper, together, to summon four birdies over the next 13 holes. Some might suggest that the worst is over, that he held it together, that ... full post »

I think that Peter Uihlein, recently-crowned AJGA player of the year, must be related to Titleist boss Wally Uihlein. The last name kind of gives it away. Does Peter play Nike or Taylor-Made equipment? Ping? I think that geometry somehow could have proven that Michelle Wie’s drop was legal. It’s all about spinning the globe on the proper axis. I think that Tom McKnight got screwed out of a spot in the Chuck Schwab season-ender by the tour. He’s top-30 in Schwab points, but cannot play because he’s 31st on the money list. Can you imagine ... full post »

“My whole point is where do we draw the line?” Van de Velde asked, and called the rule change a farce. “If we accept that women can enter our tournaments, then it applies that men can play with women,” he said. The commercial playing the hole with a putter was funny. Sure it took him eight tries to play the hole in few enough strokes to avoid the playoff that cost him the Open Championship. This? With what is Jean lacing his escargot? Women can enter men’s tournaments at the highest level because they are not as good as men. ... full post »

A year ago, I sat dejectedly in front of this screen. My old pro had finished 35th on the Champions Tour money list, 35th IN THE OLD GUYS’ WORLD, and had failed to retain his card. Lonnie Nielsen had spent the entire 2004 season with a complete exemption, garnered in the toughest Q-School out there. No more than 8 guys get their cards during the C-Tour school. He missed keeping it by five spots. I know. I was there for every week of the adventure. There was still hope, however: the 2004 School. It was too much for the pro to make ... full post »

BamBam is obviously looking for a new playmate since Pebbles grew up. Problem is, he went about it the wrong way. Waited a day to tell the new girl on the block that she did something naughty. Unfortunately, he didn’t tell her straight out, just went behind her back and told Mr. Slate, who blew the whistle. Fred drove the new girl away while Barney just said, “a-hee hee hee.” You’d think that Michael Bamberger would have better things to do than bust a rising star. You’d think that Michelle’s dad, Nike, the Morris agency, and ... full post »

Why is it that the Champions Tour is the only collection of professional golfers that has yet to produce a sub-60 score? I’m watching Morris Hatalsky as he turns in -6, then birdies his tenth hole to go -7, and pondering this notion. Annika has her 59, Duval and Geiberger have theirs, a host of guys have 59s and one 58 on the Nationwide Tour, and (I believe) there was even a sub-60 on the Canadian Tour. My knowledge of the Euro and S.A. tours, along with the Asian, South African, and Aussie tours, is less precise, ... full post »

We love to think, I’ve been there before; we love to take foreign expressions and tinker with them, and we hate facing our demons. While competing in the high-pressure arena of the western New York Public Links Golf Association’s two-man scratch scramble at Scott Witter’s Arrowhead Golf Club in September, I was possessed by a state of incredible calm. I wish to iterate two shots to state my case. Standing with my partner at six-under, some 140 yards over water from the deep eighteenth green, we both knew eight iron would get the ball to the middle of the ... full post »

This week the little boys (Nationwide Tour) make their annual stop at the Gila River Invitational. Ain’t no cooler name on the PGA Tour, let me tell you. Ranks right up there with other, mad tight sponsorships on the second tour, like Jacob’s Creek, Panama (think Van Halen), Chitimacha, Chattanooga and Chiti-Chiti-Bang-Bang (I think I made that last one up.) I get the chance each year to attend two of these barn-burners, and compare how modern (Peek’N Peak–Lake Erie Charity Classic) and traditional (Irondequoit CC–Xerox Classic) courses hold up against these boys … or is it, how ... full post »