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Which Wone Will Win, Wolfrum?

Wednesday December 7, 2005 | 20:42:49 255 words, 1686 views
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So this guy, Wolfrum, claims that a Euro player will win a major in 2006. Only trouble is, he fails to name names, make predictions, etcetera. OK, here is my prediction: a two-legged homo sapien will win a major in 2006, and he will be of anglo, latino, or swahili descent. I like El Lobo, but he needs to stand tall with this prediction and name names. Therefore, the Mon of Ron (ron means rum in Spanish, you know … ummmm) boldly goes where no lupine has gone today–the realm of european most-likely-to-but-won’t for 2006:

Masters: Bjorn or Donald. Good track records, but neither has the stones to put four solid rounds together at Augusta.

US Open: Second toughest to call. Where will they be, Winged Foot? Go with Harrington (based on his Westchester success last year.)

Open Ch.: Not Monty, not two years in a row. Better bet is Faldo or Poulter.

PGA: Toughest to call. Medinah? Is Hale Irwin European? Oh, wait, that leaping latin lover, Sergio Garcia, once came up almost-big there. Go with him to make it two seconds in a row.

When we speak of non-American golfers, as Wolfrum points out, we now think of australasians or south africans (with the occasional zimbabwean thrown in for balance.) Honestly, who was the last individual European threat? Ahh, there’s the key word: individual.

Therefore, Wolfrum, a European will win a major in 2006. Problem is, it will take place in Ireland, and it will take 12 of them to do it.

2006 Ryder Cup Final Score: Europe 16, USA 12.

Comments:

Comment from: William K. Wolfrum [Member] Email · http://www.worldgolf.com/blogs/william.wolfrum
So, calling me out, are you Ron Mon? Well, despite the fact that the pronunciation of your name in Portuguese is hilarious to the sophomoric, I admire your tenacity.

So you want a prediction? Ok, here you go, my euphonically named friend:

Colin Montgomerie, 2006 British Open Champion.

"Full Monty II: The bugger finally won it" will be released by Disney in 2007. Phillip Seymour Hoffman is a natch for the lead.

Bonus prediction: Nick and Jessica will get back together.

--WKW
Permalink 12/08/05 @ 08:46
Comment from: Ron Mon [Member] Email
Wooo-hoooo. I'm euphonic! Cool. Darn it, knew I should have studied Portuguese, too. Nick Faldo had a wife named Jessica?
Permalink 12/08/05 @ 09:07

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