Ultimate Showdowns: Mianne Bagger vs. Wie, Tiger and Retief, Buddy Mariucci vs. Europe, and a minor FBR Open

Mianne Bagger is in the hunt after one round of the ANZ Ladies Masters in Australia. I know that it’s only one round, and she is three strokes off the lead. The fact that she used to be a guy, however, mashes the Michelle Wie controversies (I won’t even link this one!) into small potatoes. What if Bagger wins? Certainly Baldwin will be tongue-tied (or is it keyboard-tied?)

Tiger is near the top again in Dubai. Only trouble is, so are Jamie Donaldson, Richard Green, and Ross Bain. I just don’t know how ETW keeps doing it against this competition. Last week he defeated bald guy and Basque guy to win in San Diego, and now he faces the Great Triumvirate of the New Millenium. Current Euro hotshot Henrik Stenson is tied with ETW at -5 after one, with newcomer Retief Goosen tied for first. Oh, wait, it’s THE Retief Goosen? Well, that’s different.

George “Buddy” Marucci was named Captain of the 2007 US Walker Cup team. GBM lost to ETW in the Final of the 1995 US Amateur, and played on two Walker Cup teams in that same decade. Is this a case of incest or nepotism or what? It’s obvious that the USGA likes to promote from within. Bob Lewis, long a darling of the “Association,” successfully captained last year’s squad to victory in Chicago. What does Marucci know about Irish golf, about the current crop of kids? Probably nothing. He’ll be expected to repeat Lewis’ performance, though. Is he up to it? I say no.

The FBR Open (named for Franklin Belano Roosevelt) is being held this week in Scottsdale, AZ. Phil is at -2 while Vijay slumbers at even after round one. The lead is held by the always-threatening Steve Lowery and the geographically-confused (Am I German or Czech?) Alex Cejka. Lurking one shot back is the tour equivalent of the Backstreet Boys (Jerry Smith, Brent Geiberger, James Driscoll and Bo Van Pelt.) Holy crap, unless Lefty and Fiji amp it up, the tour had best make a temporary slogan change to (wait for it, wait for it, here it comes) These Guys Are … Who?

Thank you very much. I’ll be here all week. Be sure to tip your mouse.