Gentlemen and Ladies, it’s high time we accepted the veracity of a number of statements, hypotheses, and postulations applied to the game of golf. Many have attempted to dispel them, but their efforts have been futile. Now, armed with no facts and little proof, I hereby decree the following to be 100% true, now and forever, ad infinitum, hocus pocus, ides of March.
1. Women are slow and incapable golfers.
2. Young golfers are rude and destructive.
3. The stiffer the golf shaft, the more appropriate it is for your game.
4. The harder you swing, the better and farther the ball will fly.
5. Golf carts are good for the game, especially for twenty- and thirty-somethings who don’t get enough exercise elsewhere.
6. Genders should never be mixed on the golf course. In fact, men should have access to all fine courses, while women should be relegated to executive layouts, par three tracks, and miniature golf courses.
7. Every man, at every juncture, should hold up play on par five holes by taking a crack at the green in two. No matter the obstacle (sand, water, trees, great wall of China), it can be overcome through arrogance and lack of awareness of others on the course. We all know, too, that topped balls bounce off water and sand, and always roll onto the green.
8. Well-planned, strategic golf, is a fallacy. Grip it and rip it is the only way to attack this game. Proof #1–when Phil played safely, he won the Masters and the PGA; when he went back to his attacking style, he didn’t. Who wants to win the Masters twice, anyway?
I know, I know… it hurts. Those with open minds will forever debate while those with closed minds will never grease the hinges to let in the sun. I’m always astounded by those who are so certain of their position that they fail to entertain the antithesis. This blog is for the latter. In closing, I may not know much, but I know what I do not know.
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Jason Scott Deegan:
The Accidental Golfer:
Katharine Dyson:
Kiel Christianson:
Good Luck!
Ducking is purely optional but recommended.
I know from personal experience how difficult it is for some to read what you mean beyond the squiggles on the page.
11. Plumb-bobbing makes you putt better, even if you don't understand the concept, so take five minutes lining up that three-footer you're about to pull.
12. You can deliberately slice and hook around obstacles, just like you do in Tiger Woods 2007.
13. Yelling at a ball in flight actually affects the trajectory and spin. Yelling "Bite" to a 2-iron is a sure way to make the ball stop on a dime.
14. Practice swings help you refine your game, so take fifteen or twenty before every shot.
1. A round of golf should take 4 hours
2. Players are the major cause of slow play
And, Ive got the myth busters.
Myth buster #2 - I've looked for and studied the causes of slow play for about ten years and found that the waiting we hate, and define as "slow play," is primarily caused by overcrowding the golf course not by players playing slowly.
The gamblers will search forever for a lost ball or agonize for fifteen minutes while they line up a three foot putt. Then promptly miss the damned putt.
A couple weeks ago I was particularly annoyed by a group in front of mine, so I told my playing partners I was going to hit one off one of their golf carts in front of the green. Of course I was kidding all the time the hole was a 375 yard par four.
Somehow I found a hidden screw in the face of my new 425 and hit the drive of my life, a one hopper directly into the side of one of their golf carts. We could hear it hit back on the tee box. I bent over, picked up my tee and said to the group, "Damn, good thing that golf cart was there or I would have been over."
Golf carts have become my new aiming point. Hey, maybe it wasn't luck.
I don't disagree with you. Of course players can be horribly slow, if course managers let them get away with it. And I strongly agree with you on educating players. The PGA did a study and found that the slowest players were the ones that were new to the game.
My point is that even if everyone were educated and played faster, the major cause of waiting on the course is because of congestion. And the responsibility for that rests solely with course management.
There's a constant daily struggle between the impact of congestion and slow players. Management is faced with the difficult task of having to consciously manage both, from sunup to sundown. And it's a tough job.
And when playing alone, I can play 2 balls, take notes and pictures for a course review, and smoke a cigar in 2.5 hours. Faster with one ball, no notes, and walking.
What about these:
--You will NEVER see the marshal when you want to tell them about the slow group ahead of you, but you will ALWAYS see the marshal a the exact time you deliberately do something you know you should not be doing.
--The beer cart girls will only come by if you already have a full cooler and will never come your way when you're out. Proceed to the clubhouse and restock if you want to see them again.
--You have a much better chance of having the game of your life when you go out and play a quick 18 by yourself than you do if you go out with friends and play for skins... guaranteed long drives, birdies, and a good chance of a hole in one.