*It must have been ugly. 44 on the front nine, capped off by a quad on the relatively-benignth (get it?) hole. On the back, a double and two singles, sandwiched around his only birdie of the day, on the really-benixteenth (all right, that’s pushing it.) In “The tournament soon to be known as a major” (don’t get me started on that one…Finchem using his weasely lawyer muscle to invent a major makes me vomit), Davis Love III may have made his last stand. You don’t ever enter another prominent event and not recall an 83 that took you from tied for first by a few to missed cut by four. Davis won’t, either.

**Finchem has his dream weekend. The top seven players hale from unique countries, all. Give us your tired, your poor, your Spaniards, Brits, Aussies, Fijians, Canadians, Koreans, and Americans, and we’ll have a tourney. Little offense to the Yanks tied for seventh with Mr. Clutch (Greg Owen), but John Rollins (sound like a metal guitarist), Bo Van Pelt (sounds like a nursery rhyme) and Brad Faxon (sounds like a used-to-be) don’t strike a chord of faith in their staying power. Nor do Steve Flesch (and blood), Aaron (my year is) Oberholser, and Fred (lightning don’t never strike twice) Funk. Five back of the leader is the American stalwart, Eldrick Tiger Gilligan Woods, new owner of an island.

***Two members of the Hair Club For Young Men are in the top ten, so we’ll see their flowing locks this weekend. Tim Clark missed the cut, but Serge and Adonis, err, Adam made the cut. No word on who is winning the bet so far.

****Ernie was another victim of the difficult front-nine-finish. After five birdies in sixteen holes had him in the top ten, the big wheezy finished single-double on 8 and 9 to drop to T27. No word on whether he is the next Davis Love III.

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