Never, under any circumstance, should you pick the following to contend in a major championship (or even make the cut):

David Toms…His sun has set. He is short, like me, and not burly, like Jason Zuback. His game is quaint and less than powerful. His putter is not hot enough to ever bring him close again.

Davis Love III…The southern gentleman has his hand in everything but golf preparation. He has a family, and has no desire to alienate anyone through 100% devotion to the trade that got him here.

Michael Campbell…Once and done. The Paul Lawrie of New Zealand. Will be able to enjoy his major for a lifetime and beyond. The Bob Charles of his day (except he’s right-swinging and maori.)

Justin Leonard…Another one just like Toms. His contention at Whistling Straits was a minor miracle, given the length of the course. Oh, wait…they shortened it in fear of a wind that never came. Well, that’s it. Enjoy your wife.

Chad Campbell & Zach Jonshon…Something’s missing. Don’t know what it is. Takes a special mind to rise from Nationwide king to PGA winner to Major Victor. These two don’t have it.

Ever, under all circumstances, should you pick the following to have a top-20 finish. Once they get there, a few putts per round are all that make the difference:

Geoff Ogilvy…This guy has carved three good rounds out of a treacherous trail. If he stays in the top ten on Sunday, it portents things to come. Definitely could win the PGA (like Wayne Grady and others.) Might have the game for Augusta, but who knows about the Open in Britain.

Ian Poulter…They say he’s a bit daft. Anyone who does commercials willingly with Feherty must be. He’s there on Sundays, and that’s what matters.

Jim Furyk…For some reason, I see a British Open victory this summer at Royal Let’s Gripe About It (otherwise known as Coy-Lake.) Hoylake seems less like a links than any other Open venue, which might be an Olympia Fields’ flashback.

Luke Donald…This guy has won me over. He played the type of golf that Tiger needed to play to get back in it–two bogeys and one double are the only blemishes over the middle 36. THAT’S how you recover from a +8 Thursday.

Colin Montgomerie…Just kidding! What’s he wearing for cologne these days? Hellacious divorces have that effect, I guess. Almost like the lunatic that Shivas Irons tutored in GITK 1. Big scotsman who finally got a handle on his inner child.

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