K Club's terminal triumvirate sure to trample, trash and torture in 2006 Ryder Cup

Never too early to fire the first salvo in the Ryder Cup wars. Taking a virtual tour of the K Club’s Palmer Course, it occurs to me that more blood might be spilled, and more shorts might be stained, by the closing triumvirate of holes than at Kiawah Island in 1991. The water courses on holes 16-18 appear left, right, and center, and should claim a number of victims, mostly from the US side. Why? Check it out.

Number 16 is a wee par four of 395 yards or metres (I can’t tell from the site.) It appears that surrounding trees and water outnumber blades of grass on the emerald ribbon they call fairway. It actually looks like a pretend hole from Golden Tee. Phil will take driver all five rounds, ignoring Bones’ admonitions, and go 0-5 yet again, after switching to Ping equipment Wednesday of Cup week.

Number 17 is a par three similar to Golden Bell at a little course in Augusta. Don’t know about the swirling winds, but come white-knuckle time on Sunday, even calm will seem windy. Only 173 yards, unless they build a deeper tee, this one could be a birdie-bogey fest/feast/festival/feastival(?). Someone will lay the sod over the ball like Monty did on 18 at Winged Feet (they have two courses, right? … plural of foot is feet) and dump it in the water.

Number 18 is a mid-length par five with water through the fairway on the left. This wouldn’t be so bad if the hole didn’t dogleg right. Overanxious to catch up, Zach Johnson, Brett Wetterich, Vaughn Taylor or Luke Glover (yep, numbers five through nine on our team as of today) will hit a double-cross that heads way left instead of carving right. The pond will come into play on his second shot, and his momentary heroism will be replaced by a new image. Following this shot, Sergio will pirouette down the fairway and hug his new favorite teammate, Henrik Stenson. Davis Love Cubed will pout and point fingers back in America, where he was left off the team despite having enough points to qualify.