Let’s get directly to the corpses: Zach Johnson, Brett Wetterich, and (probably) Vaughn Taylor will not be in the top ten of the USA Ryder Cup team when Sunday evening mizzles in. Lumpy, Davis, Cink-Port, Kelly and Glover all have a shot at double-points for a top ten finish this weekend. Heck, with a 6th-place finish, even Aaron Oberholser can make this team. What does that tell you about the system? Although the PGA still needs to work on its selection process, I will go on record as claiming that the PGA championship is infinitely more enjoyable, entertaining, and legitimate than the USGA Open, even if writers tend to script bizarre takes on the event.
The Big Four: Billy Andrade…BMOC in his Wake Forest days, Rhode Islander of disputably-Portuguese descent, born-again Atlantian, the Rhode Island of the South. Kind of a later-day Kenny Lee Puckett, without the ex-wives and the debauchery. Henrik Stenson…subject of a feature in GD this month, member of ‘06 Euro Ryder Cup team, tall, dark-haired, purveyor of soccer technique. Luke Donald…Euro answer marketers have been asking the question of, USA educated, British born, shuts his mouth when asked about Paul Casey, paints, putts and preens. Tim Herron…accomplice in the funniest Sign-Boy commercial ever, Daly-light–smokes, eats, does he drink? With a big finish, will be the best thing for the Ryder Cup ever.
The Lurkers: Tiger, Riley, Davis, Funk, Mayfair, Garcia, Clark, Micheel, Toms, Ogilvy. The following are their reasons for wanting a victory:
–Tiger…wants five-year slide at the PGA to end.
–Riley…wants to show that he’s no longer “too tired.”
–Davis…wants to show that he’s not a wuss.
–Funk…wants to be “the veteran presence” if Davis qualifies auto.
–Mayfair..wants to relive the glory days of his junior golf years.
–Garcia…are you kidding? No room to list all the reasons.
–Clark..wants a victory for average-stature guys with long putters everywhere.
–Micheel..wants to become the Andy North of the PGA. Two wins shy of that status.
–Toms…wants to show that he is not the Davis of his generation.
–Ogilvy..wants to become a friggin’ superstar, where other Aussies have failed to ascend.
Best Third Round Pairing: Sean “Head” O’Hair and Nathan Green, whose head has none.
Best Third Round Pairing For Chris Riley: Tiger Woods. Riles can show Captain Tom that he is a viable partner for The Kitty, should Furyk falter.
That’s all I have. Raise your hand if you agree with me, or if you just want a piece of Tiger’s ball…takers?
9:33 EST UPDATE: Ben Curtis is on the move!!!
9:49 EST UPDATE: Jerry Kelly can smell the K-Club. Two 68s on the weekend should do it.
9:51 EST UPDATE: Here comes Dean! Top five and he makes the Ryder Cup! How would that play…from nowhere to the team in the last two weeks.
10:05 EST UPDATE: BADDS! -2 after five. 29-spot improvement already.
10:42 EST UPDATE: Badds to -3, Hansen and Moore to -2. All three tied for 25th.
10:46 EST UPDATE: Moore to -3, tied for 18th.
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1 comment
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§ Booger said on : 08/19/06 @ 14:25
You write like a monkey.

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