“He misses a step and cuts his hand, but
Showing nothing, he swoops like a song
She cries “Where have all Papa’s heroes gone?”

Those lines come from David Bowie’s song, Young Americans. Just goes to show I can manipulate just about any words in the English language. Papa’s heroes aren’t named John Rollins (+1 in final round), Justin Rose (+4), Lucas Glover (+8), Nathan Green (+3), or least of all, Dean Wilson (+12). Wilson would have needed -3 today to win; he was 15 strokes higher. How clutch is that?

I really don’t care if there was a Type Z hurricane in the California Desert today (was there one? do type Z hurricanes exist, or is that a Cat In The Hat ranking?) There wasn’t a clutch bone in the field today, save the wooly beast himself, Charley Hoffman. Hoffman birdied seventeen and eagled eighteen, got himself into a playoff with the BC Open Champ John Rollins, then won the thing with a birdie on the first extra green.

Wind? 40 mph tops? Deal with it…hit it low and run it. Spread your stance on putts. Players have dealt with it for decades. England’s Rose, Australia’s Green, Hawaii’s Wilson…don’t those places have wind? Took a guy from San Diego to figure it out…Go figure.

Turns out that Paul Casey played clutch final round golf in Abu Dhabi (baby talk for mucho dinero) to win a Euro event. Now there’s a fear-inducing performance. Casey? I properly hate him.

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