Thanks to my elimination from the Blogger Lost and Found, ummm, Blogger Island, err, Blogger Idol, err, whatever that thing is that Heather M. runs on WorldGolf.Com, I am now free to write a good blog. I know that wil come as a surprise to my colleagues at TravelGolf, who believe that my constipated writing efforts take root in too much coaching from conflicted rivals Butch Harmon and Rick Smith, but I promise to rise from the ashes of their influence. That French guy who blogs about golf led me to that architecture guy who blogs about golf, and I got to thinking about course length, fairway width, and other measuring-stick statistics at use. I toiled, boiled, oiled, and soiled my way to the following compendium of categories for promotion, classification, and edification of ¨placement in history of major championships¨for future events. Feel free to add your own stat cats in the comments area, although hubris will prevent me from recognizing them…

Blades of grass per fairway inch…why bother discussing the width of fairways? Instead, let´s nominate BGPFI to determine how much short turf was accessible at the time of tee-off.

Grains of sand per bunker…As DM noted, PM took three strokes Sunday to escape from an average bunker on Augusta´s first hole. Since I am only aware of two types of sand (Ohio White and Quick), it seems that we ought to have a better measuring stick when it comes to beaches. I´m not pushing for the black-sand, topless beaches of Rio de Janeiro, however, just a GSPB along the lines of the Stimpmeter system.

Density of Tee Bark per Trunk…None of this would matter if TW had not cracked a shaft on that conniferous beast. However, the question then posed is, what if it were beech, elm, oak, or family (tree)? DTBPT meters might have allowed Steve Williams to predict that the collision of shaft with shaft could have resulted in indentation.

Fans per Treetop of Amen Corner…The much-heralded changes to ANGC´s greens (from bermuda to bent, with cooling/drying systems underneath) were meant to distract our view from the fans installed by his Owlness the Hootster on the tops of trees at Amen Corner. These wind-generators are the true source of the swirling vespers that terrorize competitors and force the God Titleist´s orbs into the depths of Davy Jones (or Bobby Jones´) locker. Therefore, a gauge to determine FPTAC is desireable as we move into the new era of USMGA OpenMasters championships.

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