PGA European Tour: Mouse Ties For Lead, Golf World In Shock
After posting 13 birdies in two days, offset by 5 bogeys, a mouse has assumed a tie for the lead at the midway point of the Open de España, currently being debated at the Centro Nacional de Golf, in Madrid, España.
Stuart Little, an unassuming rodent of indeterminate age, swung his cudgels with dexterity and power, wielding a wheel of cheese-shaped putter to navigate the tricky Iberian course with expertise. Playing partners Hector “Speedy” Gonzalez of Mexico and Haywood “Mickey” Mouse of central Florida both expressed their admiration for Little’s play:
“We’re not the most physically-gifted creatures, as you can see. What Stuart has done, especially in light of the recent Taco Bell crisis in New York, will hopefully cast the entire family of rodents in a better light,” said Señor Gonzalez. “Having left the entertainment industry to pursue professional golf on a full-time basis, I’m just beginning to live out the dream,” commented Mr. Mouse. “Stuart is the beacon that I hope to reach one day.”
What makes Little’s accomplishment even more astonishing is his left-handed swing. “We’re not preternaturally disposed to swing from port,” Little remarked. “I’ve a few hockey-playing, Canadian cousins who hack about from the “sinister” side, but they’re the only lefty rodents I know.” Let’s all get together and cheer the little fellow on as he moves ahead in his quest for golfing greatness!
French Sensation Pepé Le Pew, playing under the alias of Grégory Bourdy, attempted to relegate the mouse to a tie for second after 36. Birdies on holes 15-17 staked the skunk to a one-stroke advantage with a weekend to play, but alas, a bogey five on 18 reduced the margin from slim to none. All post-round requests for interviews were denied, as the skunk seemed intent only on directing muffled kissing noises at a particularly attractive kitten.
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