“Trend-setting designer Ralph Dunning announces that staff player Kyle Thompson wore a complete playing system from Dunning Golf luxury performance apparel while capturing the Nationwide Tour’s Rex Hospital Open in Raleigh, NC.”

I kid you not, this came over The Wire as an official press release. Evidently, Kyle Thompson does not don mere pants, shirt, and other fixings. He steps into a “playing system,” and a complete one at that.
Curious as to why? Here’s another great quote: increased airflow, moisture wicking, breathability, permanent moisture management, muscle support and UV protection.

Airflow is what you get when you hold your short sleeves or collar open and flap. Permanent moisture management is an issue for course superintendents, not for golfers. Muscle support? Here’s an insight: if you have toned muscles, they don’t need support. If you have flab, it needs support.

I thought that I was the only one using a “Complete Playing System.” Since I am not, and before the revolution I started gets out of hand, I want to let the golf world know exactly how I outfit myself before each and every competitive and casual round of golf. Fasten them there seat belts!

1. Leopard Print Thong

…To unleash my inner beast, I begin my investiture with an incredibly binding undergarment. Any and all flexibility is eliminated. Talk about medieval!

2. Fishnet man shirt

…Remember Fifty First Dates? Remember the brother and that stuff he wore? That’s what covers my torso. See the guy above? Subtract the Red Hot Chili Pepper long hair and the sleeves, and you’re looking in my mirror at me!

3. Short Man Shorts

Remember those 1970s NBA shorts, the ones that came WAAYYY up? That’s me…no room for tees or extra golf balls in those babies!!

4. Socks and Sandals

Mine go above the calves, and are usually referred to as “hose.” They are SOOOO comfortable.

So there you have it…For information on your own Playing System, please subscribe to my free service on apparel acquisition.

AND REMEMBER…THIS MONDAY IS THE 100 HOLE MARATHON FOR CANCER SURVIVAL. IF YOU HAVEN’T PLEDGED YET, CLICK HERE NOW. YOU’LL BE GLAD THAT YOU DID AND I’LL BE THRILLED.

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