U.S. Open Oakmont Humor from 4.5 Hours Away

I remember Bethpage as a rookie in 2002. I remember Shinnecock as a veteran in 2004. I had plans, big plans, to be at Winged Foot in 2006, Oakmont in 2007, and Bethpage again in 2009. And then, reality set in. Two consecutive graduation years (last and this) put the kibosh on my plans. Now, instead of completing another Sunday at my fourth media open in six years, I’m left with the memories of 2004 and the 7th hole, and oh yeah, all that crap that my kids accomplished. Why, oh why, did I not prioritize?

Charl Schwartzel is ready to catch fire. If anyone finds the “e” and the “s” he lost in the Oakmont rough, please contact South Africa.

Fun with four-letter words: Cheer for Stephen Same, Justin Sore, David Most and Mike Wire today. You may know them as ames, rose, toms and weir, but that’s just not keeping it real. Now, if you take woods, invert the w to make an m, and rearrange, you get Dooms; now I’ve gone too far… and Camilo Liveslag is out of freaking bounds.

32 Americans, 7 Englishmen, 6 Aussies, 4 South Africans, 3 Swedes, 2 Spaniards, 2 Candians, and a handful of Fijians, Danes, Kiwis, Colombians, Argentines, Japanese and Indians round out the melting pot that is the US Open on Sunday. Now that’s a glorious mix.

Unless we see a 65, the winner on Sunday comes from Badds, Woods, Casey, Ames, Rose and Watson.

This is not US Open news, but is too funny to pass up.. On the PGA Tour Dot Com Nationwide Tour page, you might have seen this headline and subhead if you got lucky…

“Yep, He’s Still Got It

Former Ryder Cupper Chris Riley has slowly been getting his game back, and his performance in the Rochester Area Charities Showdown is proof. Riley is already making a move early in the final round.”

“A move” consisted of birdeing the first hole. I kid you not. I couldn’t find him on the leaderboard, so I checked his scores, and saw him open with birdie-par-bogey. If one birdie constistutes “a move,” does one bogey equal “a monstrous collapse, the size of a typhoon or an extraterrestrial invasion"?