It’s a lovely, rainy Tuesday morning in the middle of the Niagara River, a perfect day for reflection on a massive world of golf. Here are my thoughts for the day.

1. Dicks. I couldn’t figure out Dick Pound’s need to support the Black Night in his assault on golf, and then it winked at me: distraction. As the Tour de France pedals on, as the world track and field season sprints ahead, Dick is diverting enhancement attention from areas within his purview to other, noteworthy targets. Start a rumor and people might actually believe it! Here’s mine: Did you know that there are steroids in golf?

2. Eagles. Long story short: driver plus five metal to 490 yard par five equals kick-in one-footer for eagle. Had one yesterday, my first in twenty years. Haven’t holed out from the fairway in forever. Joe Ogilvie did, which is very cool. Greatest thing about Carnoustie? Eagle chances and eagle successes. Are you listening, Augusta? Are you listening, USGA? Nothing makes it more exciting than the chance to pick up not one, but dos golpes at the same time.

3. Double Doubles. Andres Romero was like a cigarette-smoking Milonga singer who swooped in, stole all the pretty ladies, got drunk and fell down twice, then splashed into the harbor. Sort of like a Carlos Gardel - Chris Farley meltdown. Like high drama, with one guy playing the fool, the hero, and the anti-hero all at once. Talk about schizophrenia!

4. Amateur golf. Porter Cup comes to western New York this weekend. Webb Simpson, Jon McClean, Rickie Fowler, Dustin Johnson, Trip Kuehne, Seung-Su Han, Brian Harman, the SLOWEST player in Amateur golf (Rory Hie), Chris Kirk and others arrive on the shores of the Niagara gorge to debate the 49th annual contest. Before you say “who the %$#@ are those guys,” you’ll be watching ten of them in two months at the Walker Cup. Well, not all ten will be here. Jamie Lovemark won’t be, which stinks.

5. Drivers. I’m banging a new driver these days, and truly understand how technology renders golf courses obsolete. I took out my three iron and my four iron! No hybrids, just 3 and 5 metals, and a one iron for low shots on windy days. Might become a two iron, but only for tee balls. It’s all about the mid-irons now, unless you go 7200 or longer.

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