Stephen Ames announced plans today to pen a tell-all book on how not to make the Presidents Cup team. Knowing that the home country (in this case, Canada) needed a representative, that the canadian-borne Mike Weir was playing like hog jowls, Ames tossed rounds of 68-69-69-76 to finish t-12, all the while paired with the eventual winner, one Tiger Woods. In the meantime, Weir missed the cut by four bumps with 36 holes in 149 strokes. I will swear on a stack of bibles that the way Ames played in the those first three rounds would earn his team 2.5 of 3 points. The way Weir played in his two rounds? Well, the USA is thrilled to have him on the World team.

Gary Player, meanwhile, explained it away in this fashion

“Mike is a terrific competitor, and I have a lot of confidence in him,” Player said. “You couldn’t ask for a better team player. … And being in Canada, if we didn’t have him on the team, in my opinion, it would be quite flat.”

Boy, is Mike Weir ever non-flat, err, un-flat, err, flat-less? He is Mr. Excitement!

Weir claimed a neck injury suffered at Firestone caused him to play poorly during the final two weeks of qualifying. Unfortunately, he had no explanation nor reason for what caused him to play poorly the other 98% of the time.

Sounds like Gangs of New York, done the Canadian way. Since Ames in not a native-born Canadian, does he not bleed maple syrup? Ah well, probably making something out of nothing.

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