Aug
15
High Carolina for Walkers Only? Think Again, Tiger Woods!
Unless I’m mistaken, the land upon which Tiger “Tiger” Woods will inscribe his first USA golf course tends a bit toward hilly. All right, I’ll cease the chicanery: it’s a freakin’ mountain! How does Tiger Woods think that this little old track will be a walkers-only course? Can he ensure that the trip from green to next tee will be a fairly brief one (see Bandon Dunes and Pacific Dunes)? There is a walk from, let’s see, the 13th green to the 14th tee at Bandon Trails that gifted three men with heart attacks the first three months the course was open…and they had caddies! That’s the kind of walk Tiger will have to avoid. Will he open the Steve Williams Caddie Institute at High Carolina? Tiger is quoted as saying:
“Even an idiot can’t mess this up,” he said. “I think I’m a little above that.”
Well, Monsieur Woods, it might be difficult to utilize all features of the land properly while leaning the course toward walkers alone. Many great mountain courses (think New England, Michigan, Colorado, New Mexico) accept the trade-off. I for one am anxious to follow this saga to the end, and hopefully attempt to WALK the course. Are you reading, boss?
| « The Power of Words: Tiger Woods, Rory Sabbatini, Woody Austin, Stephen Ames | Gary Player is on something...Human Ego Enhancement formula » |
12 comments
Well, I don't know that I can refer to him as Tiger "Sam" Woods, so I'll go with Tiger "Tiger" Woods. Is that all right, Elhugh "Shanks" Smails? Or, should we call you loofa?
08/16/07 @ 16:26
Comment from: alan [Visitor] 
Man, you don't know anything. It's "Elihu" and what does that have to do with anything? Tiger "Tiger" woods was just weird.
Dude, you need to straighten up and be morer clear - your slang is not "cool" and it makes you look like just some idiot with a blog.
"Inscribe" his course? "Gifted" three men with heart attacks. That's lousy word choice. In fact, more than any other person on this page, you struggle to use the right word. At least Jennifer Mario isn't weird.
Some guys here have real opinions and write clearly so people can understand their point. You just seem toi write to fill space and act in a strange way.
BY the way...it take it from your article, you have not been there yet...so how do you know its not walkable?
Are you a professional or just some loudmouth who likes to hear himself talk?
Dude, you need to straighten up and be morer clear - your slang is not "cool" and it makes you look like just some idiot with a blog.
"Inscribe" his course? "Gifted" three men with heart attacks. That's lousy word choice. In fact, more than any other person on this page, you struggle to use the right word. At least Jennifer Mario isn't weird.
Some guys here have real opinions and write clearly so people can understand their point. You just seem toi write to fill space and act in a strange way.
BY the way...it take it from your article, you have not been there yet...so how do you know its not walkable?
Are you a professional or just some loudmouth who likes to hear himself talk?
08/17/07 @ 12:57
Alan is Alan Shipnuck from Sports Illustrated and Bud Sweat and Tees. He has mild linguistic spasms and uncontrollable character evaluations. We encourage him to write in and channel his energy in a positive way. Thank you, Alan, for writing. You pave the way and plow the road.
08/17/07 @ 16:13
Comment from: alan [Visitor]
no I'm not Shipnuck - nice try, I'm just a reader that tried to offer constructive criticism. If that's the way you take it, go ahead, write poorly and then wonder why the world passes you by.
08/18/07 @ 09:27
OK, Alan, I gave you an out, but you didn't take it. Allow me to deconstruct (with coherent and proper spelling, I might add) your comments. Here goes:
Man, you don't know anything. It's "Elihu" and what does that have to do with anything? Tiger "Tiger" woods was just weird.
[Elihu comes from what? Give us some basis for this nickname. The Tiger in quotes was humorous, based on repetition. No one has the same nickname as first name, so it was funny.]
Dude, you need to straighten up and be morer clear - your slang is not "cool" and it makes you look like just some idiot with a blog.
[You'll find if you reread my blogs that I don't use slang. I am a highly-educated professional, well-read, with an enormous ego. As such, my blogs are not idiotic; they might penetrate areas yet explored, but that is the risk a curious writer takes.]
"Inscribe" his course? "Gifted" three men with heart attacks. That's lousy word choice. In fact, more than any other person on this page, you struggle to use the right word. At least Jennifer Mario isn't weird.
[Both word choices are literary. Why use the same verbs over and over? Check out most writers...they rarely stray from their idiolect. Gifted is irony...you might research it. Your suggestion that I lack the correct (right is slang, amigo) word stems from this addiction on your part to common turns of phrase. Read more and different writers and you'll agree. Unless you know Jennifer personally, you cannot decree that she is or is not, weird.]
Some guys here have real opinions and write clearly so people can understand their point. You just seem toi write to fill space and act in a strange way.
[This is a great comment. Which guys? Back up your claim. Dot Wong? Kiel Christianson? Tim and Chris? Here's a thought: if we all write the same way, where's the challenge? For example, Kiel is fluent in Illinoisian, a unique dialect, while Chris speaks Vegan, and Tim dabbles in Floridian. I cannot make those claims, so I do what I does.]
Man, you don't know anything. It's "Elihu" and what does that have to do with anything? Tiger "Tiger" woods was just weird.
[Elihu comes from what? Give us some basis for this nickname. The Tiger in quotes was humorous, based on repetition. No one has the same nickname as first name, so it was funny.]
Dude, you need to straighten up and be morer clear - your slang is not "cool" and it makes you look like just some idiot with a blog.
[You'll find if you reread my blogs that I don't use slang. I am a highly-educated professional, well-read, with an enormous ego. As such, my blogs are not idiotic; they might penetrate areas yet explored, but that is the risk a curious writer takes.]
"Inscribe" his course? "Gifted" three men with heart attacks. That's lousy word choice. In fact, more than any other person on this page, you struggle to use the right word. At least Jennifer Mario isn't weird.
[Both word choices are literary. Why use the same verbs over and over? Check out most writers...they rarely stray from their idiolect. Gifted is irony...you might research it. Your suggestion that I lack the correct (right is slang, amigo) word stems from this addiction on your part to common turns of phrase. Read more and different writers and you'll agree. Unless you know Jennifer personally, you cannot decree that she is or is not, weird.]
Some guys here have real opinions and write clearly so people can understand their point. You just seem toi write to fill space and act in a strange way.
[This is a great comment. Which guys? Back up your claim. Dot Wong? Kiel Christianson? Tim and Chris? Here's a thought: if we all write the same way, where's the challenge? For example, Kiel is fluent in Illinoisian, a unique dialect, while Chris speaks Vegan, and Tim dabbles in Floridian. I cannot make those claims, so I do what I does.]
08/18/07 @ 10:03
Comment from: Judge Smails [Visitor]
As far as I know, I'm the only professional writer on these blogs, and I don't even write for them. Nevertheless, God has gifted you with me anyway.
08/18/07 @ 11:57
You ARE a gift, Elhugh...OHHH, now I get it...I was spelling Elihu incorrectly. Thanks, Alan. Want to loofa my stretch marks? I'll mow your lawn in return.
08/18/07 @ 16:40
Comment from: BV [Visitor]
Awwww....RonMon - I thought Alan had a one semi-valid observations C'mon - fess up - you really ARE an idiot with a blog! ;)
"You'll get NOTHING...and like it!"
08/21/07 @ 15:30
Comment from: alan [Visitor]
No, you're not being "ironic", you're using poor word choice. You're supposed to be an English teacher, so go look at Strunk and White's The Elements of style. You commit two of their highlighted common mistakes. First, "gift" is not a verb. He gives that as a specific example - don;t say someone "gifted someone" - the mistake is made worse because the course is an inanimate object and doesn't "gift anybody."
You also break rule 9 which says "Do not adopt a breezy manner or use slang inappropriately."
Way to go - and you're teaching kids how to write. Its a good thing for us you're not a doctor.
08/31/07 @ 17:48
Should you leave the ivory tower of your urban (or is it urbane?) university, you'll be on pace to recognize that "to gift" is certainly a verb. In addition, your Messrs. Strunk and White might easily be referred to as Shrunk and Wong (get it? right and wrong!), if they ignore the existence of the verb. Second, who are you to determine the appropriate usage of slang? Pack up your medicine kit and leave River City right now...take your musical instruments with you, too. I'll not suffer your condescension one minute longer.
08/31/07 @ 22:56
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