FedEx Cup and Ham ... Yes I Like It, Sam I Am
The Passion of RonMon: Conversion to a FedEx Cup devotee.
(Set to the lyrics and rhythm of Dr. Seuss’ immortal Green Eggs and Ham)
Act One: Denial
I do not like it on tee-vee.
I do not like it on a tee.
I do not like it in my house.
I do not watch it with my spouse.
I do not know them here or there.
I do not find them anywhere*.
I do not know you, Gavin Coles.
I always thought Pete Lonard bowls!
Daniel Chopra, Deepak-fed?
Kevin Stadler, Walrus-bred?
Ken Duke, Jeff Gove, Pat Perez
They were exempt, so you says
I do not like FedEx and ham.
I do not like it, Sam-I-am.
*that matters on the money list.
Act Two: Acceptance and Rapture
You do not like it.
So you say.
Try it! Watch it!
And you may.
Try it and you may, I say.
Sam!
If you will let me be,
I will watch them.
You will see.
Say!
I like FedEx and ham!
I do! I like them, Sam-I-am!
And I would watch them at Barclays.
And I would watch them at East Lake…
And I will watch them near Boston.
And in Chitown, they’re almost done.
And on the green. And in a tree.
They are so good, so good, you see!
So I will watch them putt their ball.
And I will watch them, soar and fall.
And I will see them hit a house.
And I will see them blame a louse.
And I will watch them here and there.
Say! I will watch them ANYWHERE*!
*Even Verona, New York!
| « Time for Finchem to Man Up! | Hypocrisy of USGA Walker Cup selection committee » |
12 comments
but will folks keep their TVs on
if Stricker or if KJ wins,
and Phil and Tiger pack it in?
Then who will be the year's top pro?
Rory, yes, but Tigger, no?
That was abso$&^!#*lutely funny!
Kiel - I appreciate the effort in your response. True to your own heart.
You are smart, but you are wrong,
I will keep my TV on,
Hoping Tigger/Lefty sink,
Catch my favourites in a blink*,
Ernie, Bernie, Tom can go,
Let Stewart, Luke & JJ know,
I'll be rooting for them so.
*No Ron, even I won't go that low.
PS We all know who the year's top player of the year will be, just let me watch a few of the others who are playing their hearts out.
Then they all ran away.
And Ron Mon was lonely.
He wanted to play.
But he sat at his keyboard
and continued to say:
"I meant what I said
And I said what I meant…
I love the Fed Ex Cup
One hundred per cent!"
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