Mr. Olympia, Phil Mickelson, Tarnishes Scorecard, Wins HSBC Champions

They don’t call it the silly season for nothing. Sure, the HSBC Champions event is an official spot on the Asian tour, the Euro tour, the Global tour, whatever, all three! The fact that it occurs when major events are far in the rear-view mirror (or still-unwrapped presents), that it brings in players with wheelbarrows of appearance money, and that playing form is rarely on for the top guns.

PHIL SETTLES FOR TROPHY AFTER DREAMING OF OLYMPIC GOLF GOLD
After an abysmal dog-and-pony show from long-time leader Phil Mickelson and the Empire’s Ross Fisher, where the leaders produced 9 bogies and a double bogey to the final hole, Fisher emitted the most audible groan of all with a final-hole, double-bogey seven to fall back into the playoff with Philly Cheesesteak and the Cialis Cid of the day, the rapidly-surging Lee Westwood. London Lee (he’s probably not from London, but I bet he visited there once) pounded six birdies onto his card for a back-nine 30, but never expected anything more than slaps on the back until Fisher’s dreadful, final-hole performance. Even Arizona Phil had to be as deflated as a pricked balloon with his own, ultimate bogey…until Ross went belly up.

ROSS LOOKED MUCH LESS DELIGHTED ON SUNDAY IN SHANGHAI
Not even the official event site will demarcate the path Fisher took to his demise, perhaps to spare readers the anguish of asking “How the Melvin Fellows did he do that?” For Fisher, no amount of “I learned a lot” and “Next time I’ll know how to handle” can take away the sting of a botched event.

Westwood, to his credit, accepted things in proper perspective. Knowing that he had no right to be in the playoff, the Brit acknowledged the late-hour missteps of his playoff compatriots and walked off a richer man, into the sunset of the locker room.

LEE WAS HAPPY TO FINISH STRONG
When you mix an out-of-condition (tournament toughness, that is) world-class player like Mickelson with a second-rate champ like Westwood, and throw in an in-shape, third-tier guy like Fisher, the cream never rises, and the sub-par performances eventually settle to the same level.

Eds. Note: There are three more sanctioning bodies, so add Australasian Tour, China Golf Association, and Sunshine Tour to the list. Now I feel complete. That’s some tourney! Can’t wait for next year, when an out-of-form Tiger Woods, a hopeful Justin Rose, and a starry-eyed Thongchai Jadee meet for another playoff.