Nov 22

Milton, Florida leads Germany by One stroke at Omega Mission Hills World Cup of Golf

I’ve never heard Heath Slocum speak. I’ve heard Bubba Watson and lord knows we’ve all heard Boo Weekley enunciate. Does Heath have that long, syrupy drawl, that goo dripping off a shovel, tongue kind of stuck here and there, form of pronouncing? I think that he had it surgically removed, something I thought was impossible.

Anyhow, the boys from Milton each made an eagle yesterday, staking a one-blow lead over Germany. Alex Cejka, the largest German man in Las Vegas, partnered with Martin Kaymer, for a ten-under 62. Neither man played for his country last year, when Bernhard Languer and Marcel Siem conquered Scotland in a two-hole playoff for the championship. Sort of shows the depth of German golf…at least four deep. The pundits claim that today’s scoring will be much higher, with the format switching to alternate shot…I don’t think so. I imagine that some team will go 8-under and get to a three-stroke lead by nightfall.

My two burning questions are, does Boo Weekley understand alternate shot and why does England mourn the strangest things? I’ll elaborate. Since Boo has never represented the USA in anything international, this format might be new to him. I’m hoping that Joe Pyle, his felonious caddy, might be schooled in the format. Pyle was detained for a good while this week in Hong Kong, where he not only lacked the correct visa for entry, he didn’t have any visa at all. I know, I know, the opening is too large, so I’ll resist. Joe’s the guy with the flag

On to England…evidently, England’s soccer team played like horse pucks and didn’t qualify on for the European championship next year. Not the world cup, not the Olympics, the European championship. Justin Rose and Ian Poulter decided to not mourn (wearing all black) but to patronize, to patriotize, by wearing opposing reds and whites (see below…)

Funny thing…I have no sympathy for GB. Why? They’re deceitful. The guy everyone thought was injured during US Soccer, David Beckham, somehow found the strength to play for his homeland. Here’s a quote from Becks, who demonstrates a remarkable awareness of the bigger picture:

“We all know there are more important things than football in the world, but for us not to qualify for a competition it’s a huge, huge thing.”

Whooops…just found my answer to the alternate-shot question, I did, straight from the Bear’s jaws

It’ll be fun playing with Heath this week. We know just about everything about one another. We ain’t played together in a while. We played together in a bunch of best-balls and some alternate shots and stuff like that.

This insight comes from Boo’s daily diary, his blog from China. Between y’all and me (us, if you will), I’m still not certain that Boo’s actually writing this one. He may be speaking, and some lackey then transcribes his thoughts, or some trained monkey might be typing in “Boo-Speak” and passing it off to us ignoramuses back stateside. I’ll keep digging and try to find an answer. Go, World Cup!

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6 comments

§ wendy (uk) said on : 11/22/07 @ 14:24
What do you mean - you're not sure that Boo is actually writing these blogs - get a grip, man. Find out what he's eating as well - has he tried chopsticks yet? Played great golf though.

I have it on good authority (well, The Times to be precise)that the England fiasco was YOUR fault. "Let's not just blame the team and the weather, blame the Americans too". "It hardly helped that the Wembley pitch had recently been churned to a puree by a bunch of American heavies in helmets". It didn't quite go on to explain how Croatia coped with the same pitch, but let's not quibble over details. Mourning? Nine (NINE!) pages of it in aforesaid newspaper. Still, it cheered up many Scots (and a great cartoon of smiling English women).

Happy Thanksgiving.
§ Ron Mon® said on : 11/22/07 @ 21:23
Seriously, it's not hard to write rural and southern. It would be like writing cockney or australian, right? Everyone knows the accent and the grammatical (mis)tendencies. Happy T-G to you, as well. I remember our Buffalo Bills losing four consecutive super bowls, and it was rough. I just figured it would fun to pick on Poulter and Rose.
§ Oliver Sudden said on : 11/22/07 @ 22:17
The Milton boys are one hell of a golf story, that's for sure. I lived in Ft. Myers, Florida most of my life and until Nolan Henke made it we didn't have any tour players. Oh yeah, we had Fuzzy but he just attended junior college in Ft. Myers, he wasn't FROM Ft. Myers. And FM is like NY city compared to Milton. What makes it happen is junior golf programs and the Milton credit goes to Heath Slocum's father. But no matter how good your junior program is it is still quite unbelievable to have 3 guys make it at the same time.
§ wendy (uk) said on : 11/23/07 @ 12:37
Heard Slocum speak - he sounds - how shall I put this? - normal. I'm sure (almost) that Boo said every word ascribed to him - but not that he actually WROTE it.

Look - your league team losing Super Bowl is one thing - your COUNTRY not even qualifying to play in it would be quite another. The England manager(ex) will have to emigrate (have you thought about a change of career/sport at all?) and the government will probably fall.

In the meantime, thank God for golf and Boo, and feel free to have your fun with Poulter & Rose - all in white today. Oh, just remembered Poulter and I support the same soccer team. Sorry, Justin.
§ Ron Mon® said on : 11/23/07 @ 12:59
I think that the nut is this: we don't care as much about our country teams as we do our league teams. We are so spread out as a nation that we simply deal with the Olympic losses. Plus, there is no single sport that captures our imagination on an inter-nation level as does il calcio, soccer, football. Europeans and South Americans are absolutely nuts over it, far beyond our own rapture.
§ wendy (uk) said on : 11/23/07 @ 13:25
Good points, (although I was trying to mock the reaction). Were we to lose the Ryder Cup next year (wash my mouth out)it certainly wouldn't bring the 12 pages headed "The Inquest" in The Times today for the reasons you have given.