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Golf Related SPAM Has A Literature Of Its Own, Just Ask Bin Laden

Sunday July 27, 2008 | 11:35:12 257 words, 12099 views
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I have a piece of spam sitting in my inbox that I do not dare open. I am the fool of no one, unlike Chris Baldwin, who is the fool for all. As the director of a 3000-address email list, I receive a lot of spam in the box reserved for that list, over 200 pieces on any given day. I’ve gone through three stages of SPAM acceptance. The first was elation (I’m important enough to be spammed!); the second was frustration (Damn these hounds of Hell, they are adding minutes to my work day!) The third and present state is one of acceptance and hilarity. I now take great pleasure in reading both the name of the “sender” and the proposed purpose of the email (all without opening them) before I commend them to SPAM purgatory.

If I break it down into groups, the purported authors fall into four categories: important corporations, famous people, sexy girl names, and foreign-sounding monikers. The topics also fall into four categories: porno and sex, a business venture, a package or offer for me to claim, and knock-off brand product purchase opportunities. This is not news to you, but it sets up the key point of the blog…How is Bin Laden connected? I present to you today’s spam email of the day, courtesy of “Meijer” (no first name, no title, just Meijer):

Bin Laden driver denies Al Qaeda Links

I guess he hits a mean tee ball, mean enough to deny an entire terrorist organization’s efforts to build a golf course.


Comments:

Comment from: Wendy (UK) [Visitor] Email
Thanks for the larf, Ron.

Hang about ..... is that why you never replied to my e-mail - just because I have a foreign-sounding moniker?

PS Busket is probably either rude or political - best not go there.
Permalink 07/27/08 @ 14:29
Comment from: P. Meijer [Visitor] Email
If it's one of our emails, please forward it to me at first.last@last.com and I will be sure to look into it. Best, Peter Meijer
Permalink 07/27/08 @ 14:36
Comment from: Ron Mon [Member] Email · http://www.buffalogolfer.com
Hanging about...to which email didn't I respond? I thought I answered them all...
Permalink 07/27/08 @ 18:36
Comment from: Wendy (UK) [Visitor] Email
Well, I expected some quip back that you had sent me to SPAM purgatory because "Wendy" is one of the least sexy names you can think of or you thought I was trying to flog you a cut-price hamburger. I dunno, Ron, I give you a golden opportunity (as an appreciation of a blog which made me smile) and you waste it. I'm not Teresa, you know.
Permalink 07/28/08 @ 14:54
Comment from: Ron Mon [Member] Email · http://www.buffalogolfer.com
Oh, I see now. It didn't come through as an email to that specific account. Actually, most guys have a soft spot for Wendy as a name because of Peter Pan. I've always liked it. I don't think Teresa is actually Teresa...writes like one of my nemeses, with words like "tool" and "jerk." Those are typically man words.
Permalink 07/28/08 @ 15:00

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