While driving to Glen Oak in East Amherst, New York, my daily epiphany arrived in the form of a U.S. Open flashback. Tiger Woods has three U.S. Open trophies on his shelf at home and all were earned on public-access golf courses. Two of the aforementioned are dreaded munis. While Pebble Beach caters to the hoi-paloi of the world, it is still non-private, which simply makes me shiver.

What makes my blood boil even more is the return to Bethpage Black in 2009 and Pebble in 2010. With our luck, we’ll have a three-time defender in Woods at Congressional Country Club in 2011. Fortunately for us, that’s a private club and as such, we can count Tiger out.

Seriously, Tiger, blue-blood up! How about a win at Olympic in 2012 or Merion Golf Club in 2013? Or, satisfied with 5 US Publinks Pro titles, will you wait for Pinehurst No. 2 in 2014 or Chambers Bay in 2015? Actually, El, you had not one but TWO chances to win at Pinehurst and you blew ‘em both. You let that be-knickered fop Payne Stewart steal all the drama in 1999, then let that Maori-Kiwi Strawberry Michael “One Hit Wonder” Campbell play the round of his life and walk away with the chalice in 2005. I guess we can count you out at age 38 in 2014.

Call your bookies and lay odds for and against Tiger Woods in U.S. Opens. Send my cut in silver coins C/O Mark Nessmith, TravelGolf.com. He’ll forward it on to my Island in the Niagara.