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Golf, Sex and Augusta National

Tuesday January 31, 2006 | 14:16:01 209 words, 2668 views
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My boys and I will occasionally utter this saying when we’re playing golf, “There’s nothing else we’d rather be doing, and that includes having sex …. because you can have sex anytime, but for golf you need daylight.” But that is not an either-or statement. Being all manly men, we all dig sex. Or at least we dig talking about sex. Ahem.

But today comes the news of a poll where over 30% of the respondents – equal amounts of both men & women – would give up having sex for a year in order to get a single tee time at Augusta National. Stooooppppp it! Say it ain’t so! I have to wonder if all of those who responded are over 80 years old. The only other possible explanation for that trade is they’ve been doing it wrong. For the love of God …. one whole year?

I’ve been fortunate to play some of the greatest venues in the world, Pinehurst No. 2 and St. Andrews Old Course. I’ve also walked the grounds of Augusta National and that was cool. I would pay a pretty good premium to tee it up there once. But these people have lost their marbles. I mean, money is one thing but … damn.

Comments:

Comment from: Norman [Visitor]
Shanks,
You've played St. Andrews Old Course. Weird isn't it.

Did you get confused as to which flag was for which hole, or with the combined greens.
Did you find when you hit approach shots, that the ball tends to magnitise itself to the flag that you weren't going for, at the far end of the green?

You would want to have your wits about you going around that course.
Permalink 01/31/06 @ 14:43
Comment from: trip [Visitor]
Anybody who says that they would give up sex for a year to play Augusta, hasn't had sex in a long time. (Maybe they are not giving up all that much) I have played Augusta, courtesy of a family friend who is a member and I was not that impressed. sure it's beautiful, but when I played you could only tee off from one set of members tees and the course topped out at 6300 yards, a far cry from the length it plays during the Masters. Irons were the norm of nearly every tee and don't get me started on the members. Just a bunch of high handicapp corporate stuffed shirts who care more about saying they belong, then actually playing the game. All in all a beautiful course with a lot of history, but not the nicest track out there by any stretch of the imagination and certainly not worth giving up sex over.
Permalink 01/31/06 @ 14:47
Comment from: Norman [Visitor]
On the main issue of this blog, maybe the 30% of people prepared to give up sex, have very ugly partners.
Permalink 01/31/06 @ 14:54
Comment from: Shanks [Member] Email · http://www.travelgolf.com/blogs/shanks
Hey Norm, that's why alcohol & the light switch was invented.

On the St Andrews question, I knew it was an extremely unique course so I took a caddie out with me to eliminate any confusion. All I had to do was play the shots. I would recommend that to everyone playing there for the first time(s). Those guys are worth their weight in gold. As I recall, the front nine had different color flags than the back nine.

Permalink 01/31/06 @ 15:25
Comment from: Ron Mon [Member] Email
You wrote "my boys" and I started to thinlk... whoa, that's not a good topic! Then I realized you were talking about golfing buddies, so I felt better.

Differentiate between sex and love, as the sex I have these days is all about love.

To play the final round of the Masters with Tiger Woods and be competitive, THEN I would give up sex for a year.
Permalink 01/31/06 @ 15:41
Comment from: Shanks [Member] Email · http://www.travelgolf.com/blogs/shanks
RM, playing that well paired with Tiger in the final round of the Masters would be the equivalent of sex, so I don't think it applies there.
Permalink 01/31/06 @ 16:01
Comment from: Paul W [Visitor]
Playing in the Master's final paired with Tiger ... now that would cause performance anxiety.
Permalink 01/31/06 @ 16:37
Comment from: Ju-Lu [Visitor]
Shanks,

Having been married over 5 years now and with a wee bairn around....I HAVE
given up sex for a year and STILL
haven't played Augusta. DOH
Permalink 01/31/06 @ 16:38
Comment from: Ju-Lu [Visitor]
Shanks, come to think of it....I
haven't had sex since that trip to
Scotland in '04. Ya think...NAH...!!
Permalink 01/31/06 @ 16:44
Comment from: Norman [Visitor]
Hold on now. Does your boys not mean your sons.

I was wondering how one would talk about sex so openly with ones kids, but I was putting it down to American society or something like that.

PS. If someone referred to their friends as my boys over here, they would be presumed to be batting for the other side.

So Shanks, put our minds at rest and come out of the closest and announce your hetrosexuality. It should be celebrated.
Better still write a new blog about your favourite lpga players. It could be called Creamer & Co.
Permalink 01/31/06 @ 17:16
Comment from: jackson [Visitor]
Norman---"my boys" is common slang for my friends, my buddies, my pals, my blokes, etc....it is used simply to describe your best guy friends, there is no fear in the states of it being a homosexual reference. Since we are on the topic it's common knowledge here in the states that Michelle Wie is the Liza Minelli of golfers, preferred by gay men 2-1 over Paula Creamer.
Permalink 01/31/06 @ 21:39
Comment from: Ron Mon [Member] Email
Guys, if you can't handle a Sunday with Mr. Woods, just take ... Tiagra. Guaranteed to get you up and playing like a Tiger. Just take the little red pill.
Permalink 01/31/06 @ 23:52
Comment from: One-Putt [Visitor]
I asked Father O'Reilly our Parish Priest and he doesn't have a single problem with giving up sex for a lifetime to gain a Membership at Augusta.

Now top that Shanks.
Permalink 02/01/06 @ 04:49
Comment from: Shanks [Member] Email · http://www.travelgolf.com/blogs/shanks
You guys are killing me! Great posts.

Performance anxiety and Tiagra? Seems like Olazabal & Green needed some Sunday afternoon.

A 2-week trip to Scotland with your boys (best buddies) IS worth giving up sex for a year. Right, Ju-Lu?

Mrs. Shanks is no doubt breathlessly awaiting my announcement of sexual orientation. She would hate to have been having sex with a gay man for the last 7 years.

And saying priests don't have sex is like saying there's no gambling in states where it is outlawed. Petition denied!

Permalink 02/01/06 @ 07:54
Comment from: BV [Visitor]
Sorry Shanks and other posters, I wouldn't give up sex for a WEEK for a tee-time ANYWHERE. Golf's nowhere NEAR that important...and if it IS to some......I gotta say that's sad.
Permalink 02/01/06 @ 11:21
Comment from: Norman [Visitor]
Jackson said:
Norman---"my boys" is common slang for my friends, my buddies, my pals, my blokes, etc....it is used simply to describe your best guy friends, there is no fear in the states of it being a homosexual reference. Since we are on the topic it's common knowledge here in the states that Michelle Wie is the Liza Minelli of golfers, preferred by gay men 2-1 over Paula Creamer.
*******************************

Jackson, shouldn't gay men fancy Tiger Woods ahead of Phil Mickelson or something like that. Who cares what they think of Creamer and Wie!

Probably 2 to 1 of gay men prefer Wie over Creamer, but the ratio for hetrosexuals is probably more like 4 to 1 for Wie. So Creamer gets a higher percentage of gays than straights, if you like.

As regards the "My boys" phrase, just if you guys go on holiday or "vacation" as you call it, than leave the phrase "my boys" at home.

By the way, Wie is probably going to make the cut at the Korean tournament in May, so that will be the end of that discussion.
Permalink 02/01/06 @ 12:13
Comment from: Shanks [Member] Email · http://www.travelgolf.com/blogs/shanks
And there you have it .... now we've heard from the other side of the spectrum. Some folks say they'll give up sex for a year for one tee time at Augusta and here BV says he wouldn't even give it up for a week. That can mean only one of 3 things: BV is either single, still putting beans IN the jar or he's not much of a golfer.

I'd love to hear from some of the ladies on this. A widely held belief amongst us guys is that women can generally do without sex much longer than men. (I wonder where we get THAT idea?)

And while over 30% of both men and women said they would make the deal, it could be like most New Year's resolutions - sounds good at the time but doesn't last very long.
Permalink 02/01/06 @ 12:18
Comment from: Paul W [Visitor]
I've never seen statistics on this, but I'd guess if you asked the same people whether they had sex in the last year, you'd probably get around the same percentages.
Permalink 02/01/06 @ 13:10
Comment from: Shanks [Member] Email · http://www.travelgolf.com/blogs/shanks
Well Paul, that leaves us the grody question of whether or not having sex means including a partner. If flying solo is included then the percentages are WAAAAY down.
Permalink 02/01/06 @ 13:19
Comment from: Paul W [Visitor]
I think we've gone about as far in to the gutter as we should go with this conversation.
Permalink 02/01/06 @ 13:29
Comment from: Paul W [Visitor]
Norman, the Korean tour event is an Asian Tour event, so it's probably around the same level as the Casio.
Permalink 02/01/06 @ 13:38
Comment from: Norman [Visitor]
Yes Paul W,
It is part of the Asian Tour so it could be a decent level, but I think it won't be as high as the Casio, which was one of the bigger Japanese Tour events.

This event, while decent enough, at least isn't co-sanctioned with the European Tour, in which case:
* it would be a tougher field.
* I'd be checking out the qualifying standards.

One thing I'm wondering about is why she didn't enter an easier tournament. It has one of the higher prizes of the Asian Tour only santioned events.
Making a cut would be great to stop guys quoting this 0 from 7 argument, which is just a silly misleading stat.
Permalink 02/01/06 @ 14:17
Comment from: Paul W [Visitor]
Norman,
Could be a lot of reasons why she chose this event, such as scheduling. Fred Couples played the event the last couple of years, so SK Telecom probably tries to get big names there.

It may not have as deep a field as the Casio, but it looks like it has a lower cut line.
Permalink 02/01/06 @ 14:51
Comment from: Norman [Visitor]
Paul W,
Good point about scheduling which is obviously hugely important for Michelle.

Do you know if Fred Couples is playing in it again?

And what is the lower cut line about? The Casio was 70 wasn't it? Do you know what this tournament is?
Permalink 02/01/06 @ 15:33
Comment from: trip [Visitor]
Norman---how did I know you would turn this into a michelle wie discussion. The SK Telecom is a low level Asian Tour event, one which a woman has already made the cut in(light hitting Se Ri Pak). I don't here her name mentioned as the future of cross-gendered golf For Michelle not to make the cut would be the bigger story. Making the cut at this insignificant tournament would do little to silence her critics. The only thing that is going to silence them is for her to win an LPGA title, or make a PGA tour event cut. Is this fair, probably not, but with all the hype surrunding her people have come to expect more from her than what she has currently displayed and that includes making the cut at some low-level Asian Tour event.
Permalink 02/01/06 @ 15:56
Comment from: Paul W [Visitor]
Norman,
I don't know if Couples is playing there this year. They are probably spending their appearance fee budget on Wie.

I was a little off on the cut line. The cut line at the Casio last year was 66 out of around 100 players. The cut line at the SK Telecom event was 68 out of around 150.

Trip,
Not to minimize what Se-Re did, but it was at a different event, the Korean Tour SBS Super Tournament. It was not an Asian Tour event. I don't think there even was an Asian Tour then.
Permalink 02/01/06 @ 16:42
Comment from: Norman [Visitor]
*************************
Trip said:
Norman---how did I know you would turn this into a michelle wie discussion.
*************************

It was Jackson who brought Michelle Wie into this discussion. Do your research before you make claims please.


************************
Trip said:
The SK Telecom is a low level Asian Tour event, one which a woman has already made the cut in(light hitting Se Ri Pak). I don't here her name mentioned as the future of cross-gendered golf
*************************

As Paul said, Se Ri Pak made the cut at a Korean Tour event, not an Asian Tour event.

Just to clafify:
There are 6 pga tours.
USPGA, European Tour, Japanese Tour, Asia Tour, South Africa Tour and Australasia Tour.

These are the recognised top level tours. Other tours such as the Korean Tour and the Canadian Tour are not recognised at that level.

Se Ri Pak made the cut at a mens event, but not in one of the 6 major tours.

If Michelle makes the cut in the SK Telecom event, she would be the first female in 60 years to make a cut in a mens leading tours event.
Permalink 02/01/06 @ 18:44
Comment from: One-Putt [Visitor]
I can think of one point five million reasons Michelle would play at the SK Telecom, plus the bonus of private jet travel from Hawaii thrown in for good measure.

Why not?
Permalink 02/02/06 @ 05:52
Comment from: Andrew [Visitor]
To get a single tee-time at Augusta National?
Sure I would give sex up for a year.
That is a once in a lifetime opportunity - something no amounts of money can buy, and the memories will stay forever.

And let's say I was having sex every day for the whole year.........I would still take the Augusta tee time
Permalink 02/02/06 @ 08:49
Comment from: trip [Visitor]
Andrew I admire your courage and honesty admitting that you would give up the sex for a round of golf at Augusta, but damn do you need a life. Go play Pebble Beach, St. Andrews, Pinhurst #2, any number of TPC courses, they are all nicer than Augusta National and all public, so for a pretty penny you can have memories for a lifetime and you can go on having sex. In your case, however I'm guessing that isn't really your forte.
Permalink 02/02/06 @ 09:56
Comment from: Shanks [Member] Email · http://www.travelgolf.com/blogs/shanks
Trip, you may be on to something. Perhaps for approx. 1/3 of the world, being celibate for a year is not much of a sacrifice. And perhaps for another third, it's all but impossible. What is amazing to me is that the percentages were the same for women and men who say they could go cold turkey. Would've thought that the male percentage would've been much, much lower.
Permalink 02/02/06 @ 11:18
Comment from: Norman [Visitor]
Shanks,
I guess you think the men's percentage should be lower because they like sex more.

However, you need to keep in mind, that men in general also like golf more than women do.
Permalink 02/02/06 @ 14:24
Comment from: Norman [Visitor]
One-Putt said:
I can think of one point five million reasons Michelle would play at the SK Telecom.
***************************

If you are suggesting that she is getting 1.5 million dollars to play, she is actually only getting 700,000 dollars. Poor thing.
Permalink 02/02/06 @ 14:26
Comment from: Shanks [Member] Email · http://www.travelgolf.com/blogs/shanks
No question that more men are golfers than women, Norman. But those that were polled were all golfers. I wouldn't be willing to say that male golfers are any more insane about the game than female golfers. I mean, take Jennifer Mario & Heather McMichael for example. They're at least as crazy about this game as we.
Permalink 02/02/06 @ 14:48
Comment from: Andrew [Visitor]
I don't see it that way, Trip.
The way I see it is that I am giving up something that I could have anytime for the rest of my life for something that would otherwise be impossible to do.
I've been to Pebble Beach- it was fabulous.
As for St. Andrews, I believe the appeal is mainly for traditional reasons....the actual course I found rather dull. (obviously an exaggeration but I'm just making my point).
Maybe you donn't think Augusta is as nice as say, Pebble. That's as may be, but the simple fact is a round at Pebble can be bought (for around $400, but nevermind) whereas a round at Augusta can't.
Permalink 02/04/06 @ 05:16
Comment from: jackson [Visitor]
A round at Augusta most certainly can be bought. All you have to do is be a corporate stuffed suit who cares more about image than the game of golf and get a membership. Augusta is a prime example of a course whose beauty is enhanced by television and whose reputation has been enhanced by the wonderful golfers who have played there.
Permalink 02/04/06 @ 09:19

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