Golf in Ireland -- but first, battle of the British brats

I thought Americans led the world when it came to over-indulgent parents and spoiled kids. But, the British may be worse.

On a golf trip to Ireland and Scotland, I boarded a British Airways Jet in Orlando. Almost all the passengers were British, and almost all of them had kids, crawling all over the plane like lemurs, with little or no supervision.

One of the worst of the Brit Brats sat right behind me. She was about eight or nine years old, and kept kicking me in the back. I took it for a while, and finally unhooked my seat belt, leaned back and said to the mother, very pleasantly: “Hi, how are you? We need to do something here. Your lovely daughter seems to be kicking me in the back.”

The mother looked at me helplessly, and literally threw up her hands. “I’m trying,” she said, “but I think we’ll have to wait til she goes to sleep.”

“Hmmm, maybe I should talk to one of her parents,” I said.

“I’m her mother,” she said.

“Well then, why don’t you act like it,” I said. “For God’s sake, take charge here. I mean, who’s the parent and who’s the kid?”

It was clear she was clueless. So I looked directly into the face of the little demon and gave her my best Clint Eastwood stare. She looked terrified. I felt like a big, American bully, but it worked, for the most part.

Didn’t really matter though. The rest of the baby-Brits screamed like banshees all through the flight, the parents looking either helpless or amused. Are these the same people who built a world empire?