Golf and travel in Ireland: the good, bad and ugly

Any American golfer who’s traveled in Europe, especially for the first time, knows it’s radically different over here. Aside from being divided by a common language, for the most part, a lot of things might bewilder the first-time American visitor. In Ireland, here’s just a sample of some of the good, bad and ugly.

The Good:

– I hated roundabouts at first. Once I got used to them, I loved them. They cut down on waiting an eternity on traffic lights like we do here in the U.S., for one thing. For another, if you’re not sure where to turn, just keep circling. I’ve circled four and five times before I made a decision. Nobody notices because they’re already made their turns.

– Ireland is clean as a whistle. Out in the country, away from the cities, I haven’t seen any trash or garbage or litter at all. The little towns may be old as dirt, but they’re ridiculously tidy.

– Guinness

– I like the way everybody in town seems to be out walking the city centers, socializing. I know people in the U.S. who haven’t left their dens in years, like my friend Tommy Cain.

– bidets

The Bad

– What the hell is it with electricity over here? You don’t just walk into a hotel room and flick on the lights. That would be way too simple. You need a masters electrician’s license to figure it out. You have to poke your key card and other things into these weird boxes on the wall, and that’s just the start. Every appliance has its own switch. It’s annoying. I’m asking Europe here and now to get a simpler system, or I may not come back.

– The narrow roads combined with Eastern European immigrants with belly fulls of Guinness. Ireland is one of the most dangerous countries in Europe to drive, and it’s taking its toll on the immigrant population. Up to a quarter of people killed on Irish roads are immigrants, according to newspaper reports. I will say the streets are well paved with good signs; it’s just they’re so narrow a snake would have trouble slithering through.

The Ugly

– McDonalds Restaurants. McDonald’s is like a fungus, or an invasive species. It should be confined to the U.S. so other people in the world don’t get all purply and fat and die young.

– bidets (see McDonalds above)