Analyzing Natalie Gulbis: Gee, what's behind those calendar spreads?
I’m a big, Natalie Gulbis fan – what red-blooded, heterosexual American male wouldn’t be?
But, when she starts talking about her reasons why she does her famous calendars, she comes off as either a phony or delusional.
In a podcast with our own Dave Berner, Gulbis said her newest calendar will be a “little more a reflection of who I am.” She said she’s going to wear “fun clothes.”
Look, I love her calendars – I’m all over Google looking for more, and I think you know what I mean – but let’s be real. I’m not looking for a reflection of her personality. I’ve seen her show on the Golf Channel – it’s as bland as a garden rake. And I’m not looking for fun clothes. I’m looking for Natalie wearing as little as the law and Carolyn Bivens allows.
“I hope the people can look at me and analyze me for who I am,” she says in the interview.
Yeah. I’m going to look at a Natalie Gulbis calendar and think: “Gee, I wonder what her personal philosophy is? Man, I’d like to know her hopes and dreams, the real woman behind that skimpy swim suit.”
Don’t you love these women who pose nude or semi-nude and say they just want people to see the real person?
If Natalie wanted us to analyze her for who she is, she’d write a damn book. I don’t want to know who she is. I want to gape at her in compromising positions. When I see her on the golf course, I think about those calendars and I can guarantee you I ain’t thinking about analyzing her personality, such as it is.
As long as the biological imperative holds true for our species, as long as we continue to reproduce the way we have for thousands of years, calendars will make people like Natalie Gulbis famous, not books. No amount of political correctness will change that.
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11 comments
I think that women who say these things are rationalizing for the purposes of making themselves feel better about selling sex. Perhaps Gulbis has an inflated sense of her own importance, but no one is going to mistake her for the next great philosophical mind.
This is much like the transformation of the Miss America Pageant. It used to be nothing more -- but also nothing less -- than a beauty pageant, but it was what it was. Then politically correct pretense reared it's ugly head and they started assessing the gals based on intellectual and philosophical qualities as well. The end result is that the winners still aren't intellectual giants (just PC midgets), but now they sometimes aren't even all that attractive either.
Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't watch it either way; it's just that it was more honest before. Now it's neither fish nor fowl, frivolity masquerading as something of greater import.
Believe it or not, deep down we really do feel that our personalities, intellect, hopes and dreams are important and interesting to you guys...particularly when we're young and/or naive. As we get older and more worldly we come to realize that guys (especially alpha-male type guys) are almost always going to be far more interested in a girl with a cute face and
As far as Natalie is concerned, I don't think she's being disingenuous or phony, just naive and romantic as girls of her age and background will be. Her managers encourage her to do the calendars and, after all, when you look good it's fun to pose in bikinis and sexy outfits. But I think she's convinced that you guys will see beyond the purely physical. It's not about political correctness. I know it's hard for men to believe, but trust me, that's the way most women really think.
Now if you'll excuse me I've got to get into a skimpy swimsuit... and a compromising position... and go get some photos taken for my blog.
Now if you'll excuse me I've got to get into a skimpy swimsuit... and a compromising position... and go get some photos taken for my blog."
Hey Pat whatever it takes to get the hit counter moving.
Yes, I know women are naive like that. However, I'm with my girlfriend because of her inner beauty.
As far as beauty pageants go, they have undergone their transformation because of political correctness, as I said.
who knows nothing about anything and can still find a job.
To you giving hope to a world of ignorance.
Chin, Chin..
Some of them are hilarious. As in: Shanks — "I can relate to Gubis. Some days I just feel like a piece of meat."
Caused me to laugh out loud. My compliments to Shanks.
Then there was Dave's comment — "Is it possible to hear more about the 'biological imperative of the species?'"
And Tim McDonald's rejoinder — "Dave, take a good look at Natalie's calendar: It'll come to you."
Bullseye.Hole in One. Game, set, match.
And this one. Patricia's comment — "Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to get into a skimpy swimsuit . . . and a comprimising position . . . And go get some photos taken for my blog."
To which, Tim McDonald replied — "Patricia, any chance of me getting ahold of those photos?"
I almost pulled a muscle laughing.
Laughter is indeed the best medicine. All of you have helped turn a crappified day into a mediocre one. Many thanks.
HALF PINT
P.S. Also, wanted to compliment Tim McDonald on his metaphor? simile? in his story: "It's as bland as a garden
rake."
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