I hate made-up, marketer names, and I see a load of them in my travels.

I hate developers who stick up cheap condos and give them phony place names like Vista del Mar, The Preserve, or Anything-By-the-Bay. Or anything vaguely lordly or British. The Commons. The Square.

I hate golf clubs who stick the pretentious “e” on the end of their names.

I’m more attracted to authentic, honest names:

Mosquito-Infested-Sump-Hole.

Gum Stump Landing.

Malaria Bay.

I hate fake downtowns.

I love Two-Egg, Florida.

Here are some of my favorite place-names in Florida, all real, none of them made up by marketers:

Andytown. Bonnie Lock and Briny Breezes.

Chain O’ Lakes, Chattahoocheee and Croom-A-Coochee.

Festus, Frostproof and Frog City.

Lulu, Hen Scratch and Howey-in-the-Hills.

Micanopy, Miccosukee, Sopchoppy and Okahumpka.

Weeki Wachee

Spuds.

Trailer Haven.

Wahoo, Waldo, Whiskey Creek and Wilbur–By-the-Sea

Yankeetown