In my earthly travels, I’ve found that the people in the Bahamian out-islands are the friendliest I’ve ever encountered. Not Nassau or Freeport, god forbid. Stay away from those places, but in places like Eleuthera, Andros, the Exumas, the people are open, honest and welcoming to strangers.

They’re a shy people for the most part, but nearly always smiling. They will go out of their way to help you out.

A big exception is Bimini, and any other place that is heavily dependent on tourism.

A close second to the Bahamians in the friendliness factor are the Vietnamese, followed by Puerto Ricans, Ticos (those Costa Ricans not living in San Jose) and South Africans.

The Irish are friendly too, and despite their recalcitrant reputations, so are the Scots, although that one old Scottish lady, the one who threw me out of her bed and breakfast and called me “gauche,” can kiss my ass. I’m not through with her yet.

Get some single malt in a Scot – better yet, buy him a single malt – and you’ll get past that standoffish facade easier. I guess that’s true of anybody, though.

Here in the U.S., Southern hospitality is a thing of the past. The South has turned mean. There may still be isolated pockets of civility, but for the most part, the South is like a big, old, vicious dog under the porch.

The women where I live, in tiny Madison County, in rural north Florida, are as big and over-fed as the men and twice as mean.

What the hell ever happened to Scarlet O’Hara? These Madison County women could bench-press both Scarlet and Rhett Butler and still hit you in the face with a stream of tobacco.

The worst I’ve encountered are the people who live in the Virgin Islands, both the U.S. and British versions. St. Thomas natives treat tourists with disdain and aren’t much more likely to be friendly even if you’ve lived there for a while.

The BVI people just want to make a buck off you. If you aren’t rich, they don’t want anything to do with you.

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