Golf course homeowners: Like, what is WRONG with you?

Don’t you love these fruit-balls who live on golf courses and get crazy when their homes, or kids, or dogs, are pelted with golf balls?

It seems there is always some lawsuit going on involving errant shots and broken glass.

To me, this is one of the absurdities of modern, legal life. What, exactly, did you expect when you bought that golf course home, sitting on the right side of a fairway? Don’t you know that most golfers are bad and that 80 percent of average golfers slice?

It’s like buying a home on a lake and complaining about the sound of fish jumping.

The truth is, most homeowners rarely bring suit and when they do, they rarely win. A Florida appeals judge in 1991 wrote, “Living on a golf course and living with golf balls necessarily go hand in hand.”

Even the failure to yell “fore,” which wouldn’t really work if the homeowner is asleep in the BarcoLounger, doesn’t make the golfer liable, according to several legal sources.

Now, if a hole is re-designed after you buy your home, you may have a case. Otherwise, shut up and take it like a man. Collect the golf balls and re-sell them. Stay in your house during daylight hours. Move. Take your shirt off and dare those guys teeing off to hit you. Draw a target on your neighbor’s condo.

Do anything but complain. I’ve seen angry housewives standing outside, in their yards, with a shovel, yelling. I’ve seen them turn their dogs loose.

I’ve gotten myself so worked up, I’m taking aim at the nearest house next time I tee off.