Orlando is a great place for a family vacation and a great destination in general, but of all the big cities I’ve searched for golf courses in, it has to rank near the bottom.

I think it may even be worse than Houston, which hilariously doesn’t have any zoning laws, and where roads and streets switch names at random and for no discernible reason.

You absolutely, positively will not get lost trying to find Disney World in Orlando – I think I saw a bright, neon Disney World sign in my hotel bathroom – but looking for a street address anywhere else in the city is like trying to find someone of integrity in Michelle Wie’s entourage.

Then there are the toll roads. You can’t go down the street to the 7-11 without hitting a toll road in Orlando. You better hit the ATM before driving in Orlando. Pretty soon, you’ll have to pay a toll to walk down the sidewalk.

The problem, of course, is growth. Orlando is the Big Bang of uncontrolled growth. Florida is growing by leaps and bounds and Orlando is the epicenter.

The Orange County Expressway Authority keeps throwing up toll roads, telling everyone it needs the money to build more, more, more roads for the billions of tourists and new residents. Residents are already griping about all the toll roads that pay for yet other toll roads that hardly anyone uses.

“Additionally, the U.S. Census Bureau projects that Florida will become the third largest state in the nation, surpassing New York by the year 2020, and putting even more stress on our already overcrowded roads,” Johnny Duncan wrote in the Orlando magazine, Insight.

If you’re playing a golf course in Orlando for the first time, leave an hour early and bring cash.

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