The sexiest women in the world are Indian. I don’t mean Native Americans, I mean real Indians, from India.

If you don’t believe me, watch Indian music videos, if you can get ahold of any. I used to live in Trinidad, where East Indians make up about half the population, and I spent an unhealthy amount of time watching Indian women prance around on videos. They pout better than any women anywhere.

Second are Mexicans. Mexican women know how to move. They know how to dress, too.

I like Mexican movies, too. I’m watching one now where a bull is chasing a woman through a field. Some guy ruined it when he rode in on a horse and started whacking the bull with a stick, but he fell off his horse eventually, and it was back to the bull chasing the Mexican woman. She was squealing and her dress was hiked up around her thighs. This scene must have lasted 10 minutes.

Watch a Mexican movie sometime, and see how long it takes guys who get shot to die, or even to fall over. I don’t think they’ve learned special effects yet.

I do like a Vietnamese woman. I’ve never seen a fat one, though there are few things uglier than an old Vietnamese woman.

Italian women would be up there if it weren’t for facial hair. Soon as they’re old enough to grow mustaches, they do.

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