I would really, really like to play and review the Nullarbor Plain golf course in Australia.

Then, I could write: “The golf course has some length to it. From the back tees, it plays 750 miles.”

When my editors called me, I could say: “Dude, I DID check my facts. Go back to your dank cubby hole and your Natalie Gulbis calendar.”

It isn’t actually totally built yet, but Australian officials have already put up some money to turn the Nullarbor Plain, a vast, semi-arid region between western and southern Australia, into a golf course.

The layout would be spread out through the various towns, from Kalgoorlie south to Ceduna. One stop is at a remote sheep farm.

“The Japanese are prepared to play golf on a rooftop,” promoter Alf Caputo told the Australian Associated Press. “That’s how keen they are. Can you imagine? They’ll be flocking in hordes to get over here and play this.”

The idea is to promote tourism in the more backward parts of Australia. Officials figure it will cost around $700,000. They already have four holes.

Why don’t American promoters think like this? We need to promote tourism in the more backward parts of the country, like where I live, in north Florida.

We could have a similar golf course here, from Two-Egg, Florida to Gum Stump Landing, Georgia.

I’ll put our backwardness up against Australia’s backwardness any day. At least Australia has sheep, which are more attractive than many of the women around these parts.

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