It’s not that I’m jealous of pampered millionaires, it’s more that I despise them and would like to steal their money, wives and inflict a savage beating on them if I could get away with it.

Why is the Golf Channel televising this? It’s a clubby, little in-house tournament that emphasizes what average Americans hate about golf – its exclusivity.

The Tavistock Group, founded by Joe Lewis, owns both Isleworth and Lake Nona, the two competing clubs made up of guys who will never worry about how much gas costs per gallon, so what’s the big deal?

They make the spectators wear either red or blue, depending on who they’re rooting for. These are the sort of people who think dressing this way is a pretty wild time, and not in the least embarrassed by it, as they should be.

Lewis reportedly dropped around $500 million because of recent Wall Street woes (he’s a major shareholder in Bear Stearns).

Still, he had his private jet waiting when Tiger Woods finished the rain-delayed WGC tournament at Doral, which was delayed by rain.

The Associated Press reported that Lewis, angered by the rain, tried to buy the sky.