First of all, I’m going to pair up all the rookies with each other. That way, none of the stink or taint from previous Ryder Cup humiliations will rub off.

1- J.B. Holmes and Boo Weekley. I was tempted to put Weekley with Ben Curtis to calm Curtis’ nerves, but I like the idea of these two hefty fellas bombing it all over Valhalla, where the rough will be short.

2 - Ben Curtis and Anthony Kim. Hopefully, Kim’s personality will soothe Curtis’ nerves.

3 - Hunter Mahan and Steve Stricker. Two guys with enormous talent, maybe Mahan can get Stricker wound up.

Veterans (with Ryder Cup records)

4-Phil Mickelson (9-12-4) and Jim Furyk (6-12-2). If these guys don’t do well, they should be banned from future Ryder Cup teams.

5-Stewart Cink (3-5-4) and Chad Campbell (1-3-2). The blandest pairing.

6-Justin Leonard (0-3-5) and Kenny Perry (0-2-0) Two guys who’ve never won a Ryder Cup match between them. They deserve each other.