Golf and spouses don't mix
How does one mix golf and a wife? Someone fill me in, please. Let me give you some background - I’ll tell you a story that’s as old as golf itself, but it just happened yesterday.
I’m the editor of GolfStyles Ohio, and our company hosted a Players Series tournament on July 29 at Longaberger Golf Club, one of the top public golf courses not only in the state but the nation. So I got up at 6 in the morning (and yes, of course, I was up late on Saturday night/Sunday morning) and drove the hour over to the course with my marketing partner and got 50 or so players out onto the course.
Then I spent the day either riding the course or waiting for players to finish or doing the scoreboard. I spent 12 hours outside in weather ranging from 90 degrees and the sun beating down to 80 degrees with 95 percent humidity.
By the time I left, my brain was a soft boiled egg. Normally, I don’t get tired, but yesterday, on the way home, I definitely was feeling worn out. I looked forward to a shower, some TV and bed.
When I got home, my lovely bride was on our back patio with two of her friends from the neighborhood. The kids were playing in the back yard, the women were having a big time and had decided to go out to a Mexican restaurant and were waiting for me to get home.
I was offered an out - to stay home by myself and forget dinner. But anyone who’s been married 10 years or more is smart enough to ignore that bait. I love my wife, but she’s no longer blushing and can be as salty as a sailor from the USS Indianapolis. So I washed my face and tried to switch gears.
At dinner, apparently I wasn’t gregarious, outgoing and engaging enough for my wife’s tastes. I was supposed to be entertaining the troops, I guess. Instead, the two boys were playing grabass with the nacho chips on the table so I told them to knock it off. “I knew you’d be in a bad mood,” my wife chirped. From then on, it was nasty looks and sarcasm. Great. A margarita didn’t really even make things better.
Next time, maybe I’ll just stay at home and see what happens. I mean, if you’re going to get bitched at no matter what, you might as well do what you want.
|« Ernie Els, Andres Romero and other sartorial abominations on the golf course||Rethinking the scramble »|
Sounds like you got played, playa'!!
You served as a taxi service and babysitter all in one! Kids got a meal at the restaurant, so your wife didn't need to cook while she socialized, and you took care of being the "hammer" to keep them in line. You were the designated driver while they enjoyed margaritas. How convenient!! By the way, did you end up picking up the tab?
All the while, she built up "guilt points" because you weren't "sociable". So not only did you do something you didn't want to do, but she built up an amass of points so you will be indebted to her to do other things you don't want to do!! It's a vicious cycle...
Next time, fight a little fire with fire...."Hey hon, why don't you ladies go ahead and enjoy dinner. I'll stay here and watch the kids. You don't get alot of social time with your girlfriends, especially without the kids. And besides, I'd just be a third wheel. I'll even make some Mac and Cheese for 'em."
It is known as the Jedi mind trick. If this type of conversation sounds familiar, it's because it is used against you many times, by the female of the species. It is a cunning way of achieving your goals while making it sound as though you are doing THEM a favor. It's a little known fact, sonny Jim, that it is a part of the genetic makeup of every woman.
Good luck, TR.
What man/husband wants to go to dinner with margarita tipping women anyway?
You have been "domesticated" my friend and need to find your inner Alpha Dog and let your wife know your limits...like advance notice on social engagments...not "oh, my, we were waiting for you."
Comments are closed for this post.