Home » Inside Media

Ian Poulter nude and deluded, drug testing on the PGA Tour and ... Michelle Wie's back

By Tim McDonald, Contributor

Ian Poulter says he's the man who can beat Tiger Woods, PGA Tour drug-testing making players nervous and Michelle Wie starts another season on exemption.

Ian Poulter
Ian Poulter, not the emperor, has no clothes.
Ian PoulterBeer drinker

News, views and semi-blather from Mr. Inside Media …

Speaking of blather, remember when it was Rory Sabbatini challenging Tiger Woods? Well, he challenged him in the press tent, not on the actual golf course. Remember the ridicule he received from daring to say he could beat The One?

Now it's that guy with the stupid pants.

The only thing more disturbing than Ian Poulter posing in the nude for Golf World is saying he's the only golfer who can challenge Tiger.

"Don't get me wrong, I really respect every professional golfer, but I know I haven't played to my full potential and when that happens, it will just be me and Tiger," the magazine reported Poulter as saying, though the golfer maintains he was misquoted.

Poulter predicted Tiger would win the Masters this year and that he, Poulter, would win the U.S. Open.

Poulter is ranked 22nd in the world. He has seven European wins but didn't qualify for the European team that beat the U.S. in the 2006 Ryder Cup Matches at Ireland's K Club.

Professional golf would be as boring as Tim Finchem's socks without Tiger Woods. With him, it's pretty darn interesting, if for nothing else than to see how far he can go, to what extent he can re-write the record books. He's sort of our era's Paul Bunyan.

The third scenario is: Imagine what the sport would be like, imagine the media play it would get on Sports Center, if he had a legitimate challenger. Phil Mickelson, Ernie Els and Vijay Singh have probably come the closest the last few years.

And now ... Ian Poulter?

Why do these guys keep setting themselves up as punch lines?

Now, if it were Mickelson, Els or Singh saying it, at least it wouldn't set off a firestorm of laughter.

Also, can you name a single golfer - ever - who has played to his "full potential?" In the impossible event I ever played to my full potential, I could challenge Tiger.

What's that coming through my computer speakers? Sounds like reader laughter.

Tiger Woods and Cesar Chavez?

Now that drug testing is actually starting to rear its head on the PGA Tour, players are getting nervous.

Finchem and two attorneys, one an expert on the World Anti-Doping Agency guidelines, which the tour is using as a model, hosted a mandatory drug meeting on the new policy for 100 players at the Buick Invitational.

Many of the players, according to reports, were not happy golfers.

One was Frank Lickliter, who found out the "random" part of the testing procedure could involve a guy with a test tube showing up at his house and following him into his own bathroom.

"He's going to have a hard time getting off my property without a bullet in his ass," Lickliter told the Associated Press.

Tim Herron wondered if the old attempt to start a players' union might not come up again.

Imagine that: The hard-core, rock-solid, conservative PGA Tour pros with a union.

Can you see them picketing with Mexican grape pickers?

I thought not.

You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here

Just when you start to have fun, golf yells "Last call for alcohol."

The FBR Open, the most pure fun golf tournament on tour, imposed alcohol restrictions this year, including a two-drink limit per customer, per purchase, no beer sales at the concession stand closest to the rowdy 16th hole and having to wear I.D. wristbands proving you're of legal age.

The state of Arizona reportedly had 20 agents roaming the course busting offenders, both the drinkers and the sellers.

Remember when the Gator Bowl was known as the "world's largest outdoor cocktail party?" I was once attacked by two, rabidly-inebriated Georgia Bulldog fans after Florida won. What a great memory that is.

They put a damper on that, too. When will these people understand that some of their sporting events are bearable only under the influence?

Michelle who?

In case you didn't notice, Michelle Wie has accepted a sponsor's exemption to play in the Fields Open starting Feb. 21 in Hawaii.

At least it's a women's tournament.

The last four years, Wie has started her season with a sponsor's exemption against the men, at the Sony Open.

Wie suffered from injuries last year and played in only seven tournaments, and seemed like she either withdrew, missed the cut or finished near the bottom in most of them.

I'm actually hoping she does decently this year. I suffered myriad injuries the last few years from writing about the dementia of Wie fanatics, one of which was mental exhaustion.

I'm still bitter about the experience, which compels me to point out that despite the fact Wie broke par exactly twice in 2007, she is the highest money-earner in women's golf, according to Golf Digest.

Who said life was fair or should be conducted sober?

Tim McDonaldTim McDonald, Contributor

Veteran golf writer Tim McDonald keeps one eye on the PGA Tour and another watching golf vacation hotspots and letting travelers in on the best place to vacation.

Reader Comments / Reviews Leave a comment

Simply select where you want to play, find a tee time deal, and golf now!

Dates: May 15, 2017 - February 28, 2018
Tee off on our Donald Ross Classic 18 hole golf course and play where the legends have played.
Price range: $330 - $388