THE TRAVEL GOLF GUYWishful thinking in flight
SCOTTSDALE, Ariz. (May 27, 2004) - Normally, on a transcontinental flight, I am pecking away at the laptop keys on another fresh column for my readers (both of you). Nothing keeps me from my work. Not fuselage-rattling turbulence, a reclining seat in front of me that pushes my computer into my diaphragm, or yet another in flight romantic comedy selection staring Sandra Bullock.
All work, all flight? OK, from time to time, I nod off with visions of plush resort courses dancing through my head. During a recent four-hour flight from Charlotte to Phoenix, I decided to put the pen to rest for a while and catch up on some shut eye. Just as I was entering that strange place between the waking world and dreamland, a genie appeared.
Being
a golfer, I figured this was the same cherubic dude who is the crux
of so many corny golf jokes. You know the ones. "I was searching
for my ball in the rough when a genie appears and grants me three
wishes, blah blah blah." Boy, was I wrong. This genie was the real
deal. He spoke of golf history, architecture, and a number of hot
button issues on the PGA Tour.
My next thought was that he wanted a job at TravelGolf.com. Hey, it's good work if you can get it and I have no idea what a genie gig pays. Wrong again. After giving me his U.S. Open predictions, he wanted to listen to me for a while. These genies are so unselfish. He wanted to know what I would do to improve the world of travel and golf. What's more, if he agreed with my recommendations, he'd implement them all by the time I woke up.
In other words, all I had to do was tell him what I'd been thinking about for the past five years and the recreational golf world would be a better place by the time we touched down in the Valley of the Sun. Being an organized scribe, and wanting my policies implemented with genie-like expediency, I laid out my manifesto in three easy to understand sections.
Access
Storied,
private U.S. Open venues like Shinnecock Hills, Oakmont and Southern
Hills should be required to allow a limited amount of public play
the week after hosting the tournament. An event that claims to
be the most democratic major of the four can't trumpet its openness
one week, then revert to its exclusive ways the next.
This policy could make for some bitter members, but too bad. People who occupy historic homes and structures are held to a different set of rules than those who dwell in mundane buildings. The public play quota would also benefit the game, the travel industry and the U.S.G.A's standing with John-Q golfer. Moreover, the economic impact on the host community would be gravy, what with extra room nights and dollars spent on dining, shopping and entertainment.
The years the Open is held at "public" courses, like Pinehurst No. 2 and Pebble Beach, a limited amount public play should be offered at a reduced rate for those golfers who would otherwise not be able to pony up the $300 plus for greens fees and caddies. Tax returns could be presented in the proshop to qualify for the discount. Sound socialistic? Get over it. One trip around these storied links is all some golfers ask out of life, but only a privileged few have the means to do it.
Instruction
The
PGA of America should require its members to give pro bono lessons
year round as part of their recertification process. The revenue
lost would be more than offset by the number of golfers who decide
to stay in the game. The PGA of America has made some strides
in this area with its Play Golf America campaign and designation
of May as free lesson month. But one month of free piano lessons
doesn't make a Mozart.
How many free hours do lawyers and doctors have to put in to keep their licenses to practice? I'll wager that it is more than most PGA professionals put in. And prosecuting criminals and saving lives has to be more time consuming and stressful than managing a golf course and its various operations. Frankly, the dozens of head professionals and golf directors I have come to know over the years are the type of people who'd relish this requirement, not balk at it.
Etiquette and enjoyment
The
acceptable pace of play at public access and resort courses needs
to be capped at 4 hours and 20 minutes. At most courses, it is
inching towards 4:30 and 4:45 isn't unheard of. Who has that much
time? Golfers on vacation? I don't think so. There are two types
of traveling golfers - those who want to play 36 holes a day and
those who want to play 18 and enjoy some other activity. Neither
type wants to be stuck on the course for five hours.
And walking should be allowed at any and every golf course, and those who decide to honor the game's traditions should not be hit with a cart or "players" fee. You say golf courses would loose too much money? Not so fast. Most courses lease their cart fleets and cover the monthly per cart fee after one or two rounds. Anything on top of that is pure profit. And walking does jibe with the pace of play recommendation above. Numerous studies have shown that a foursome in carts is actually slower than a foursome afoot.
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And a couple of other things before I wake up: cell phones should be banned from all golf courses. You can't take them into church, and isn't the golf course a place of worship and reflection? Whether you buy that or not, the bottom line is you're affecting someone else's propensity to enjoy him or herself when you're yapping on a cell phone. And while we're at it, let's do away with the ridiculous cart path only rule. Don't the mowers have wheels? And if a course encouraged walking, fewer carts would be on the grass anyway.
Later that day .
I am stuck behind a foursome in two golf carts with cell phones that appear to be surgically attached to their ears. Carts are restricted to paths and all four golfers are on their way to shooting 110s in just under five hours because they wouldn't pay $70 an hour for lessons from the head pro.
Turns out the genie had a bet with another genie that he could get a golf writer to spend an entire transcontinental flight working on a column with a genie in it. It's a cruel world, and a cruel game, after all.
Any opinions expressed above are those of the writer and do not necessarily represent the views of the management. The information in this story was accurate at the time of publication. All contact information, directions and prices should be confirmed directly with the golf course or resort before making reservations and/or travel plans.
