by Chuck Collet
Christopher:- This is Santa here.. just a minute, I have to find some large chunks of coal to put in your stocking, (yea Chris, I know all about the stockings, garters, the whole bit).. But, live and let live.. I am however responsible for making the final call on who has been naughty or nice for the last year and your name is right at the top of the "naughty" book, OOPS, I'm sorry, there is some guy named Jorj Dubya ahead of you, can't spell worth a damn... Anyway, I'll be heading south to Arizona for a couple of weeks of golf and sun on New Years Eve, thats after rudolph and the boys are put out to pasture and the wife can handle the elves, (they go a little nuts after Christmas is over), kinda like yourself.. But I digress. Back to your stocking, (pink fishnet is your preference I believe). Your sorry attempts at being funny over the last year have been pitiful. Your almost imperceptible intellect has been dull and boring to a fault, and your general knowledge left wanting.. Of course this is why so many of us love you so, (you make us feel so superior to you and with just cause).. You don't have the guts or savy to pick on people who are willing to, or have the "toys" to deal with your inane drivel so I guess we are stuck with you for another boring year.. Why don't you try a new "Schtik". I don't mean going "balless" into 2007, but try some subjects that show you in a smarter, kinder light. You still can stir up controversy without being a complete "ASS" (I took that from my manger scene).. Anyway, being "Santa" I am obliged to wish you and yours a Merry Christmas and a happy and prosperous New Year.. Pull up your socks sonny. This year you will be getting "Blue Anthracite" but next year it could be cheap coking coal...
Santa Claus
North Pole, (thats Canada to you yanks)..

by King Robert of Shankalot
Well, what a nice compliment...knowing that the readers made you what you are today. What you are is still anyone's guess, but be that as it may as the magazine does serve a purpose. Frankly, I didn't know the jocks at Outdoors could read. Surprise, surprise. Your comment about Mel Gibson running into a busload of Rabbis on Chanukah was actually amusing, even more so because it tied into the description of "Maverick"...which, if memory serves, Gibson also played in the movies. I could be wrong as I play to many rounds under the SE Asian sun with no hat.
This reader wishes your staff the Happiest of New Year's and hopes that in 2007 you will all do your mothers proud and find real jobs.