Chris BaldwinThis Week at Oct. 3, 2006

The time has come for us golfers to get revenge on those TV weathermen

Is there any profession that torments golfers more than the weatherman?

Or meteorologists as they pretentiously call themselves before launching into a heartwarming soliloquy about Doppler One Million or whatever high-tech radar that's all the rage these days (but in all reality's probably a bucket stuck on top of a garage).

The weather guy tells you it's going to downpour all day Saturday, so you don't book a tee time and find yourself straight out of Doppler when it turns out to be nothing but sunny. The same smiling doofus reports Sunday's a guaranteed beauty, so you schedule two tee times and are up a creek when Noah's Ark is recreated.

Weathermen have all the accuracy of Ryan Leaf and all the accountability of a college professor with tenure. If George W. really wanted to explain away those false weapons of mass destruction reports, he should have sent his local weatherman rather than Condoleezza Rice.

Oh, you got it wrong? Well, what do you expect. It's the weather guy.

Golfers have taken this meteorological abuse far too long. It's not like farmers are dumb enough to listen to these airheads and buxom bimbos standing in front of blue screens.

Dedicated hackers are left with little recourse, however. Until now.

It turns out that many of these weather dudes play golf. What else are they going to do with all that time they pretend to be staring at radar? It only takes so long to fling a dart at that board with symbols for sun, rain, snow and fog, after all.

So find a weatherman on the course. Look for the golf club that's pricey but desperate enough to shell out free rounds (weathermen aren't big on treating). Challenge the puffy hair man to a match and swing your way to satisfaction.

There's nothing like trumping the weatherman to make you smile. I'm the worst golf-playing golf writer in the world and I recently dusted a Reno weatherman. It turns out most of these guys aren't very good (when you're a weatherman you've sort of run through talents).

Go ahead. Beat your weatherman today.

As always, welcomes your comments.

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